


Twilight

by chibidemon



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: A lot of the ages have been changed, Alternate Universe - High School, Author Is Sleep Deprived, BAMF Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Blood, Chuuya blushes a lot, Clumsy Chuuya, Custody Arrangements, Cute Chuuya, Dazai can read everyones mind but Chuuya's, Dazai's a dick, Dazai's mood swings©, Doctor Mori, Edogawa Ranpo is a Little Shit (Bungou Stray Dogs), Established Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Hospitals, Human Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), I Made Myself Cry, I also completely made up the population in Yokohama, I kinda made up the weather in Yokohama, I was excited to write this, I'm Sorry, Kouyou is Chuuya's mom, Lots of Vampires, M/M, Mood Swings, Mutual Pining, New kid Nakahara Chuuya, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, POV Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Pining, Please Don't Hate Me, Protective Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ranpo Being Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sorry if I offended anyone, The Author Regrets Nothing, Vampire Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Vampire Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Vampire Fam, Vampire Mori, Vampire Nakajima Atsushi, Werewolves, but small, please read it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibidemon/pseuds/chibidemon
Summary: About three things I was absolutely certain of.One, Dazai was a vampire.Two, there was a part of him - and I don't know how big that part is - that thirsted for my blood.And three,I was unconditionally, and irrevocably in love with him.Aka the Soukoku Twilight au nobody asked forDisclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Bungou Stray dogs.Twilight is a vampire novel by Stephanie Meyer.Don't be shy, just read it :)I'll try to update it once a week but school has been killing me so.....:)
Relationships: (One sided) Chuuya Nakahara/Tachihara Michizou, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi/Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka/Miyazawa Kenji (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke/Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou Stray Dogs), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Ozaki Kouyou/Tsujimura Mizuki (Bungou Stray Dogs), Past Yosano Akiko/Ozaki Kouyou
Comments: 15
Kudos: 72





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Twilight or Bungou Stray Dogs.  
> Basically, I needed some self indulgent Soukoku vampire stories and I just got the new Twilight book and had to make this.  
> My Twilight is so overused I think it might fall apart right now lol

I'd never given much thought to how I would die - though I had a lot of reasons these past few months - but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.

Surely, it was a good way to die. Noble even. In the presence of the one I love. That ought to count towards something.

I knew that if I'd never gone to Yokohama I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret that decision. When life offers you a dream so beyond your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.

The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.


	2. First Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so just bear with me.  
> I'm sorry in advance.

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Shanghai, the sky was a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt- a black tank top; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry on item was a black coat.

  


In Japan, there was a small city named Yokohama under the near constant cover of clouds. It rains in Yokohama more than any other city in Asia. It was from this town and its gloomy, depressing shade that made my mom escape with me when I was only a few months old and newly adopted. It was in this town that I had been forced to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen. That was the year I finally put my foot down. These past three summers my other mom, Yosano, vacationed with me in Shanghai for two weeks instead. 

  


It was to Yokohama that I now exiled myself - an action that I took with great horror. I detested Yokohama.

I loved Shanghai. I loved the sun and the blistering heat. I loved the vigorous, sprawling city.

  


"Chuuya," My mom, Kouyou, said to me. 

"You don't have to do this."

  


My mother could almost pass as my biological mother. We both had orange-ish hair. We - Kouyou, Yosano and I - all have different last names, because they decided to keep my birth name from my biological parents, even though I never met them. I felt a spasm of panic as I stared into her wide eyes. How could I leave my loving, fierce and caring mother behind to fend for herself? Of course she had Mizuki now, so the bills would probably get paid, there would be food in the refrigerator and someone to call when she got lost but still...

  


"I _want_ to go." I lied for the upteenth time.

I had always been a bad liar. I just said this lie so frequently that it sounded almost convincing now.

  


"Tell Yosano I said hi."

  


"I will."

  


"I'll see you soon." She insisted.

"You can come back as soon as you need me."

  


But I could see the sacrifice in her eyes behind the promise.

  


"Don't worry about me." I insisted.  


"It'll be great. I love you, mom."

  


She hugged me tightly for a minute and then I got on the plane, and she was gone.

  


It was about a three hour flight from Shanghai to Yokohama and then about a thirty minute drive to our house. It wasn't the flying that bothered me; it was the thirty minute drive with Yosano. 

  


Yosano had been fairly nice about the whole thing. She seemed genuinely pleased that I was coming to live with her for the first time with any degree of permanence. She had already got me registered for high school and was going to help me buy a car.

  


But it was going to be awkward with Yosano. Neither of us were very close, with me spending most of my life Kouyou. We also didn't know how to communicate well. And I didn't know what to talk about. I knew she was more than a little confused by my sudden decision to live with her - like my other mother, I didn't try to hide my distaste for Yokohama.

  


When I landed in Yokohama it was raining. Big surprise. I didn't see it as a bad omen - just unavoidable. I'd already said my goodbyes to the sun.

  


Yosano was waiting for me by her cruser. This I was expecting too. Yosano is chief Yosano Akiko of the Yokohama police department. My primary motivation behind buying a car was so that I didn't have to ride around in her car or run in the rain.

  


Yosano gave me an awkward yet enthusiastic one armed hug when I stumbled my way off the plane. 

  


"Hey, Chuuya, nice to see you." She said, smiling as she automatically caught me. 

"You haven't changed much. How's Kouyou?"

  


"Mom's fine. It's good to see you too."

  


I only packed a few bags. Most of my Shanghai clothes were too cold for Yokohama. My mom and I had pooled our money to gather a winter closet but it was still tiny. It fit easily in the trunk of the cruiser.

  


"I found a good car for you, really cheap." She said when we were seated.

  


"What kind of car?" I asked. I wondered what she meant when she said 'good car for you' as opposed to 'good car'.

  


"Well, it's a truck, actually."

  


"Where did you find it?" 

  


"Do you remember the Tachihara's down by lake Miyagase?" 

Lake Miyagase is this small reservation on the coast.

  


"No."

  


"They used to go fishing with us during the summer?"

  


Well that explained why I didn't remember them. I did a good job of blocking out painful memories. 

  


"The oldest brother, Aika, is in a wheelchair." Yosano continued.

"He can't drive anymore. So he offered to sell his truck for real cheap."

  


"What year is it?" I could see the way her expression changed.

  


"Well, Aika's done a lot of work to it. It's only a few years old, really."

  


I hoped she didn't think so little of me that I would give up.

"When did he buy it?"

  


"He bought it 1984 I think."

  


"Did he buy it new?"

  


"Well, no.. I think he bought it in the early sixties... or late fifties at earliest.." She admitted.

  


"Yo- Mom, I really don't know that much about cars. If the engine breaks or something happens I won't have the money to fix it.."

I wasn't allowed to call her Yosano to her face.

  


"Really Chuuya, the thing runs great. They don't build them like that anymore."

  


_The thing..._ I mean, it had possibilities... for a nickname..  


  


"How cheap are we talking?" 

  


"Well, honey, see that's the thing. I kinda - maybe - already bought it for you... As a welcome home gift.."

  


Yosano peeked sideways at me with a sheepish expression.

  


Wow. Free.

  


"You didn't have to do that mom. I was going to buy my own car."

  


"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." She was looking ahead the road when she said this. I've heard that she is good with expressing her feelings, just not with me I guess. But I guess I was the same. So I was also looking ahead as I responded.

  


"That's really nice Mom. Thanks, I appreciate it."

  


No need to add that in Yokohama there was a zero possibility of me being happy. She didn't need to suffer along with me. And I never looked a free truck in the mouth - or engine I guess.

  


  
"Well, your welcome."

  


We exchanged a few offhanded comments about the weather and that was pretty much it for conversation. We just gazed out the windows in silence.

  


It was beautiful of course. I couldn't deny that. Everything was covered with green. The trees, their trunks covered in moss, their branches hanging with moss, the ground covered in ferns. Even the air filtered down greenly through leafs.

  


It was too green - an alien planet.

  


Eventually we made it to Yosano's. She still lived in the small, two bedroom house that she'd bought with my mother in the early days of their marriage. Those were the only days their marriage had. The early ones.

  


There, parked on the street in front of the house that never changed, was my new - well new to me, I guess - truck. It was a faded red color - I think if it was new it would look like my hair - with big rounded fenders. To my surprise, I loved it. I didn't know if it would run but I could see myself in it. With me height, maybe if I showed up to places in a truck I would be judged less.. Plus, it was one of those solid iron affairs that never get damaged. 

  


"Wow Mom! I love it! Thanks!" Now my horrific day tomorrow would be less dreadful. I wouldn't be faced with the choice of either walking in the rain or accepting a ride in the chief's cruiser.

  


"I'm glad you like." Yosano smiled.

  


It took only one trip to get all of my stuff upstairs. I got the west bedroom that faced over our front yard. The room was familiar. The tile floor, dark blue walls, white lace curtains around the window - these were all a part of my childhood. The only changes Yosano ever made were adding a desk as I grew.

  


The desk now old an old computer, with a phone line for the modern stamped along the floor to the nearest phone jack. This was a condition from Kouyou, so we could stay in touch easily. The rocking chair from my baby days where still in the corner.

  


There was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I would have to share with Yosano. I tried not to think about that. 

  


One of the best things about Yosano is that she doesn't linger. She left me alone to unpack and get settled, a feat that would have been altogether impossible for Kouyou. It was nice to be alone, not have to smile and look pleased. A relief to stare dejectedly out the window at the falling rain and let a few tears fall. I wasn't in the mood to have a full blown crying fit. I would save that for bedtime when I would have to think about the following morning.

  


Yokohama High School had a frightening total of three-hundred and fifty seven - now fifty eight - students. There were more than seven hundred people in my junior class back home alone. All the kids here had grown up together - their grandparents had been toddlers together.

  


I would be the new boy from the big city, a curiosity, a freak.

  


Maybe, if I looked like a boy from Shanghai, I could work with this to my advantage. But physically, I wouldn't fit in anywhere. I should be tan, tall, sporty, blond - a basketball player or football player perhaps - all the things a boy who grew up living in the sun should be.

  


Instead, I had blue eyes and red hair, gifted with the clusty genes, and tiny. And I was pale despite the constant sunshine.

  


When I finished putting my clothes in the old pine dresser, I took my bag of necessities and went to the bathroom. I looked at my face in the mirror as I brushed through my long tangled hair. Maybe it was the light but I already look shallower, unhealthy. My skin could be pretty - it was very clear, almost translucent looking - but it all depend on color. I had no color here.

  


Facing my plain reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit I was lying to myself. It wasn't just physically that I would never fit in. And if I couldn't find a small group in a school of three thousand people what were my chances here?

  


I didn't relate well to anyone my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate anyone. Even Kouyou, who I was closer with than anyone in the world, never had harmony with me, was never on the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing things through my eyes different than the rest of the world. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain. But the cause didn't matter. All that mattered was the effect. And tomorrow would be just the beginning. 

◇◇◇

I didn't sleep well that night, even after I was done crying. The constant rain and wind across the room wouldn't fade. I pulled the old blanket over my head, later added a pillow. But I couldn't fall asleep for hours, when the rain finally settled into a quiet drizzle.

Thick fog was all I could see out the window in the morning and I could feel the claustrophobia creeping up on me. You could never see the sky here. It was like a cage.

Breakfast with Yosano was a quiet event. She wished me good luck at school. I thanked her, knowing her hope was wasted. Good luck tended to avoid me. Yosano left first, off to the police station that was her wife and family. After she left, I sat at the old square oak table in one of the corners of Yosano's small kitchen. Nothing had changed. Kouyou had painted the cabinets eighteen years ago in an attempt to bring some sunshine into the house. Over the small fire place was a row of photos. First a wedding picture of Yosano and Kouyou, then a picture of the three of us after I was adopted, followed by a procession of school photos in order. Those were embarrassing to look at. 

I would see what I could do to get Yosano to take them down or at least put them somewhere else while i was here. 

It was impossible, being in this house, not to realize that Yosano had never gotten over Kouyou. It made me uncomfortable.

I didn't want to be early to school but I couldn't stay in the house anymore. I put on my jacket - which felt like a prison coat - and walked into the rain. 

It was drizzling still, not enough to soak me as I reached for the house key that was always hidden under the mat by the door and locked up. The sloshing of my new waterproof boots was unnerving. I missed the normal crunch of gravel as I walked by. I couldn't pause and admire my truck as I wanted too; I was in a hurry to get out of the rain that swirled around my head and made my hair stick to my hood. 

Inside the truck it was nice and dry. Aika or Yosano had obviously cleaned it up, but the tan seats smelled faintly of tobacco, gasoline and peppermint. The engine started quickly, to my relief, but loudly, roaring to life and then waiting at top volume. Well, a truck this old was bound to have a flaw. The antique radio working, a plus I hadn't expected.

Finding the school wasn't difficult, though I'd never been there before. The school was, like most of the things in Yokohama, just off the highway. It was not obvious that it was a school, only the sign which declared it to be Yokohama High school, made me stop. It looked like a collection of houses, built with maroon colored bricks. There were so many trees and shrubs that I couldn't see it's size at first. Where was the institution? Where were the chain linked fences, the metal detectors?

I parked in front of the first building, which had a small sign that said FRONT OFFICE. No one else was parked there, so I was sure it was off limits, but I decided I would get directions inside, instead of circling around in the rain like an idiot. I stepped unwillingly out of the warm truck and walked down a little stone path lined with dark hedges. I took a deep breath before opening the door.

Inside, it was brightly lit and warmer than I hoped. The office was small; a little waiting area with padded folding chairs, a orange flecked carpet, notices and awards cluttering the walls, a big clock ticking loudly. Plants grew everywhere in plastic plots, as if having them outside wasn't enough. The room was cut in half by a long counter, cluttered with wired baskets full of papers and brightly colored flyers taped to the front. There were three desks behind the counter, one of which was manned by a small red haired women with braces. She was wearing a purple shirt, which immediately made me feel overdressed. 

The red haired women looked up.  
"Can I help you?"

"I'm Chuuya Nakahara," I informed her and saw the immediate awareness light in her eyes. I was expected, a topic of gossip no doubt. Adopted son of the Chief's, finally home at last.

"Of course." She said. She dug around in a stack of papers on her desk until she found what she was looking for.  
"I have your schedule right here, and a map of the school." She brought several sheets to the counter to show me.

She went through my classes for me, highlighting the best route to each one on the map and gave ma slip to have each teacher sign and bring back at the end of the day. She smiled at me and hoped, just like Yosano, that I would have a good day. I smiled back as convincingly as I could.

When I went back to my truck, other students had started to arrive. I drove around the school, following the line of traffic. I was glad to see that most of the cars were older like mine, nothing flashy. At home I'd lived in one of the few lower income neighborhoods that were included in Shanghai. It was a common thing to see a new Mercedes or Porsche in the student lot. The nicest car here was a shiny convertible and it stood out. Still, I cut the engine as soon as I parked, so that the thunderous volume wouldn't draw attention to me.

I looked at the map in the truck, trying to memorize it now, hopefully then I wouldn't have to walk around with my nose stuck in front of it all day. I stuffed everything in my bag, pulled the strap over my shoulder and sucked in a huge breath. I can do this, I lied to myself. No one was going to bite me. I finally exhaled and stepped out of the truck. 

I kept my face pulled back into my hood as I walked to the sidewalk, crowded with teenagers. My plain black jacket didn't stand out, I noticed with relief.

Once I got inside the cafeteria building three was easy to spot. A large black '3' was painted on the wall. I felt my breathing gradually creep towards hyperventilation as I approached the door. I tried holding my breath as I followed two uni-sex raincoats through the door.

The classroom was small. The people in front of me stopped just inside the door to hang up their coats on a low coat rack. I copied them. They where two girls, one a proclean blond, the other pale with light brown hair. At least my skin won't stand out to much. 

I took the slip up to the teacher, a tall, balding man named Mr.Pushkin. He gawked when he saw my name - not an encouraging response - and of course I flushed tomato red. But at least he sent me to an empty desk at the back without introducing me to the class. It was harder for my new classmates to stare at me from the back, yet somehow they still managed. I kept my eyes on the reading list the teacher had given me. It was fairly basic. Brontë, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I'd already read everything. That was comforting.. and boring. I wondered if I could get Kouyou to send me all my old essays or if she would think I was cheating. I went through different arguments with her in my head while the teacher droned on. 

When the bell finally rang - a nasty buzzing sound - a gangly boy with freckles and blond hair leaned across the aisle to talk to me. 

"You're Nakahara Chuuya, aren't you?" He looked like the overly helpful, chess club type.

"Chuuya." I corrected. Everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me.

"Where's your next class?" He asked.

I check my schedule.  
"Um, Government. With Mr. Hirotsu, in building six."

There was nowhere to look without meeting curious eyes.

"I'm headed towards building four, I could show you the way." Definitely over-helpful.  
"I'm Kenji."

I smiled tentatively.  
"Thanks."

We got our jackets and headed out into the rain, which had picked up. I could have sworn several people behind us were walking close enough to eavesdrop. I hoped I wasn't getting paranoid.

"So this is a lot different than Shanghai huh?" He asked.

"Very."

"It doesn't rain much there does it?"

"Three or four times a year."

"Wow, I wonder what that's like." He wondered.

"Sunny." I said.

"You don't look very tan."

"My mother was part albino."

He studied my face apprehensively and I sighed. It looked like clouds and humor didn't mix. A few weeks and I might forgot how to use sarcasm.

We walked around the cafeteria, to the south building behind the gym. Kenji walked me right to the door, though it was clearly marked.

"Good luck.' He said as I touched the handle.  
"Maybe we will have some other classes together."

I smiled vaguely at him and went inside.

The rest of the morning passed in about the same fashion. My Trigonometry teacher, Mr. Rimbaud, who I would've hated anyways just because of the subject he taught, was the only one who made me stand and introduce myself. I stammered, blushes and tripped over my own boots on the way to my seat.

After two classes I started to recognize several faces in each class. There was always someone braver than the rest who would introduce themselves and ask me questions about how I was liking Yokohama. I tried to be kind, but I just lied a lot. At Least I never needed the map.

One boy sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish and walked to the cafeteria for lunch with me. He was taller than me by several inches and wore glasses. I couldn't remember his name for the life of me so I just smiled and nodded as he prattled on about teachers and classes. I didn't try to keep up. We sat at the end of a full table with several of his friends who he introduced to me. I forgot all their names the second he said them. They seemed impressed by his courage to talk to me. The boy from english, Kenji, waved at me from across the room.

It was there, sitting in the lunchroom, trying to make small talk with complete strangers, that I first saw them. 

They were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria as far away from other students as possible. There were five of them. They weren't talking and they weren't eating, although they each had a tray of untouched food in front of them. They weren't gawking at me, unlike the rest of the students, so it was safe to stare at them without meeting their interested eyes. But it wasn't any of those things that caught or held my attention. 

They didn't look anything alike. They were all boys. One boy was small, with messy brown hair, and a lean build. He was resting his head on the arm of a larger boy, who had longer brown hair, that seemed to cover his eyes. Another boy had no eyebrows and black hair turning white at the tips. He was scowling at his food while a boy with white/grey hair was whispering into his ear. The last boy had dark hair and his arms were covered in bandages. He seemed to be listening to everything and nothing at once. They all seemed to be doing something different without even talking and they looked different.

And yet, they were all exactly the same. They all had mostly small builds. And every one of them was chalky pale, the palest of all the people living in this sunless town. Paler than me, the albino. They all had very dark hair and dark eyes.They also had dark shadows under their eyes - purplish, bruise like shadows. As if they were suffering from a sleepless night or recovering from a broken nose. Though all of their features were straight, perfect, angular.

But all this is not the reason why I couldn't look away.

I stared because their faces, so different, so similar, were all devastatingly, inhumanly, beautiful. They were faces you never expected to see except on the airbrushed pages of a fashion magazine. Or painted by an old master as the face of an angel. It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful - perhaps the small brown haired boy, or the tall dark brown haired boy.

As I watched, the smallest boy rose with his tray - unopened soda and unbitten apple - and walked away with a quick, graceful hop that belonged ona runaway. I watched amazed at his lithe dancer's steps, till he dumber his tray and glided out the door, faster than I would have thought possible. My eyes drifted back to the others, sitting unchanged. 

"Who are they?" I asked the boy from my Spanish class, whose name I'd forgotten.

As he looked up to see who I meant - though he probably already knew from my tone - suddenly he looked up at him, the taller one, probably the oldest. He looked a my neighbor for a fraction of a second and then his dark eyes flickered to mine.

He looked away quickly, faster than I could, though in a flush of embarrassment I dropped my eyes at once. In that brief glance his face held nothing of interest. It was as if he had called his name and he'd looked up in involuntary response, having already decided not to answer.

My neighbor giggled in embarrassment, looking at the table like I did.

"That's Dazai Osamu. The others are Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Atsushi Nakajima, and Edgar Allen Poe. The one who just left was Ranpo Edogawa. They all live together with Dr. Mori and his husband." He said under his breath.

I glanced sideways at the beautiful boy, who was looking at his tray now, picking a bagel to pieces with his long and pale fingers. His mouth was moving very quickly, his perfect lips barely opening. The other three still looked away, yet I had a feeling he was talking to them. 

Strange, unpopular names, I thought. The kinds of names grandparents had. But maybe that was normal here? Small town names? I finally remembered my partners name was Ango, a normal but abnormal name.

"They are all.... very nice looking." I struggled with the understatement.

"Yes!" Ango agreed with a laugh.  
"They're all together though - Akutagawa and Atsushi, and Ranpo and Poe. And they live together." His voice held shock and condemnation, I thought critically.

"They don't look related..."

"Oh, they're not. Dr.Mori and his husband are really young, like in their twenties or early thirties maybe. They adopted all the kids."

"They look a little old for foster children.."

"They are now, Poe and Akutagawa are both eighteen. They've been with Dr. Mori and his husband since they were eight. He's their uncle or something."

"That's really nice - for them to take care of all those kids like that, when they're so young and everything."

"I guess so." Ango admitted reluctantly and I got the impression that he didn't like the doctor and his husband for some reason. With the glances she kept throwing at their children, I would assume the reason was jealousy.   
"Since their both guys they can't have kids." He added, as if it would lessen their kindness.

Through this entire conversation my eyes flickered again and again to the table where the strange family sat. The continued looking at the walls and not eating. 

"Have they always lived in Yokohama?" Surely I would have seen them in one of my summer trips down. 

"No." His voice implied that it should be obvious, even to someone like me.  
"They just moved here two summers ago from somewhere in Alaska."

I felt a strange sense of pity and relief. Pity, because as beautiful as they are they were outsiders. Relief, because I wasn't the only outsider here and certainly not the strangest one. As I examined them, one of them looked up to meet my gaze, this time with evident curiosity on his face. As I looked away it seemed like his gaze held some kind of unmet expectation. 

"Which one is the boy with the blackish brown hair?" I asked. I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye and he was still staring at me, with a frustrated expression on his face. 

"That's Dazai. He's gorgeous, of course. But don't waste your time on him. He doesn't date. Apparently, nobody here is good enough for him." Ango said with jealousy. I wondered when Dazai turned him down.

I bit my lip to not smile. I turned to look at Dazai again. His face was turned away but his cheeks appeared lifted, almost as if he was smiling too.

After a few more minutes, the four of them left the table together. They were all noticeably graceful. It was unsettling to watch. The one named Dazai didn't look at me again. 

I sat at the table with Ango and his friends longer than I would have if I was alone. I was anxious to not be late for class on my first day. One of my new acquaintances, who kept reminding me that her name was Kyouka, had Biology with me the next hour. We walked to class together in silence. EIther she was shy too or she just didn't like talking. 

When we entered the classroom, Kyouka went to sit at a black-topped lab table exactly like the ones at my old school. She already had a lab partner. In fact, everyone had a partner but one. Next to the corner aisle, I recognized Dazai Osamu by the bandages around his arms and neck, sitting next to the only open seat.

As I walked down the aisle to introduce myself to the teacher and get my slip signed, I was watching him. He stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face - hostile, furious. I looked away quickly, shocked, and going red again. I stumbled over a book in the walkway and had to catch myself on the edge of a table. The girl sitting there giggled.

I noticed Dazai's eyes were black - coal black.

Mr.Francis signed my slip and handed me a book with no nonsense about introduction. I could tell we were going to get along. Of course, he had no choice but to send me to the one open seat in the middle of the room. I kept my eyes down as I went to sit by him, bewildered at the glare he'd given me.

I didn't look up as I set my book onto the table and took my seat, but I saw his posture change from the corner of my eye. He was leaning away from me, sitting on the edge of his chair and averting his face like he smelled something bad. I picked up a lock of hair and sniffed. It smelled like strawberries one of my favorite shampoos. It seemed like an innocent oder enough. I let my hair fall over my shoulder, creating an orange curtain between us and tried to pay attention to the teacher. 

Unfortunately, the lecture was on cellular anatomy, something I'd already learned. I took notes carefully anyways, always looking down. I couldn't stop peeking at the strange boy next to me through my hair. During the whole class, he never relaxed his stiff posture on the edge of his chair, as far from me as possible. I could see his hand on his left leg c;enced into a fist, veins sticking out on his pale skin. This too, he never relaxed. He had the long sleeves of his white shirt pushed up to his elbows, and his forearm was surprisingly had and muscular underneath the bandages.

The class seemed to drag on longer than the others. Was it because the day was finally coming to a close or because I was waiting for his fist to loosen. What was wrong with him? Was this is normal behavior? I questioned my judgement on Ango's tenderness at lunch today. Maybe he was not as resentful as I thought.

It couldn't have anything to do with me. He didn't know me.

I peeked up at him one more time and regretted it. He was glaring down at me, his black eyes full of revulsion. As I flinched away, shrinking into the chair, the phrase if looks could kill suddenly ran through my mind.

At that moment, the bell rang loudly, making me jump and Dazai Osamu was out of his seat. Fluidly he rose - he was much taller than I thought, or maybe it's just because I'm short - his back to me and he was out of the door before anyone else was out of their seat.

I sat frozen in my seat, staring blankly at him. He was so mean. It wasn't fair. I began gathering up my stuff slowly, trying to block the anger that filled me, for fear my eyes would tear up. For some reason, my anger was tied to my tear ducts. I usually cried when I was angry.

"Are you Nakahara Chuuya?" A male voice asked.

I looked up to see a muscular, kind hearted face boy, his red hair coming down in soft waves, smiling at me in a friendly way. He obviously didn't think I smelled bad.

"Chuuya." I said with a smile.

"I'm Oda Sakunosuke. You can call me Odasaku."

"Hi, Odasaku."

"Do you need any help finding your next class?"

"I'm headed to the gym actually. I think I can find it."

"That's my next class to." He seemed excited, though it wasn't that big of a coincidence in a school this small.

We walked to class together. He picked up on the fact that I didn't talk much so he filled the silence. He'd lived in Tokyo until he was ten, so he understood how I felt about the sun. It turned out he was in my english class too. He was the nicest person I'd met today.  
But as we were entering the gym he asked,  
"So, did you stab Dazai Osamu with a pencil or something? I've never seen him act like that."

I cringed. So I wasn't the only one who had noticed. And apparently, that wasn't Dazai Osamu's normal behavior. I decide to play dumb.

"Is that the boy I was sitting next to?" I asked.

"Yes." He said.  
"He looked like he was in pain."

"I don't know." I said.  
"I never even spoke to him."

"He's a weird guy." Odasaku said.  
"Of I were lucky enough to sit next to you, I would have talked to you."

I smiled at him as I walked through the door to the changing room. He was friendly. But it wasn't enough to ease my irritation.

The gym teacher, Coach Fukuchi, found me a uniform but didn't make me dress up for class. At home, only two years of PE where required. Here, all four years were mandatory. My own personal hell.

I watched four games of volleyball. Remembering how many injuries I had sustained - and inflicted - playing volleyball, I felt faintly nauseated.

The final bell rang at last. I walked slowly to the front office to return my paperwork. The rain had drifted away, but the wind was strong and colder. I wrapped my arms around myself.

When I walked into the office, I almost turned around and walked right back out.

Dazai Osamu stood at the desk in front of me. He didn't appear to notice the sound of my appearance. I stood pressed against the back wall, waiting for receptionist to be free.

He was arguing with her in a low, attractive voice. I quickly picked up the gist of what was happening. He was trying to trade sixth hour Biology for another time - any other time.

I couldn't believe that this was about me. It had to be something else, something that happened before I entered the Biology room. The look on his face must have been about another aggravation nearby. It was impossible that this stranger had taken such a sudden, intense dislike to me.

The door opened again and the cold win suddenly gusted through the room, rustling the papers on the desks and swirling my hair around my face. The girl that cam in placed a note on the desk and simply walked out. But Dazai Osamu's back stiffened and he slowly turned to glare at me - his face was absurdly handsome - with piercing, hate filled eyes. For an instant, I felt genuine fear, raising the hair on the back of my arms. The look only lasted a second but it chilled me more than the freezing wind. He turned back to the receptionist.

"Never mind then." He said hastily with a voice like velvet.  
"I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." 

And then he turned on his heel without another look at me, and disappeared out the door.

I went meekly to the desk, my face white for once instead of red and handed her the signed slip.

"How did your day go?" The receptionist asked.

"Fine." I lied, my voice weak. She didn't look convinced.

When I got to my truck, it was almost the last car in the lot. It seemed like a haven, already the closest thing to home I had in this damp green whole. I sat inside for a while, just staring blankly out the window. But soon I was cold enough to need the heater so I turned the key and the engine roared to life. I drove back to Yosano's fighting tears the whole way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of time I spent writing this.// -_- //  
> So yah...  
> I know it's confusing, but it'll make since eventually, I think..  
> I was listening to cello music at the very end and I kept getting Fyodor vibes


	3. Open Book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thank you for reading :)

The next day was better...and worse.

It was better because it wasn't raining yet, though the clouds were dark. It was easier because I knew what to expect of the day. Odasaku came to sit with me during English and walked me the next class with Kenji glaring at him the whole. People didn't look at me quite as much as they had yesterday. I sat at a big table with Ango, Kenji, Odasaku and some others whose names I was still learning.

It was worse because I still couldn't sleep with the rain. It was worse because I was tired. It was worse because Mr.Rimbaud called on me when my hand wasn't raised and I said the wrong answer. It was miserable because I had to play volleyball and the one time I did hit the ball I smacked it directly into my teammates head. And it was worse because Dazai Osamu hadn't even come to school at all.

All morning I was dreading lunch, fearing his intense glares. Part of me wanted to confront him and demand to know what his problem was. While I was lying sleepless in bed, I even imagined what I would say. But I knew myself to well to think I would actually have to guts to do it. 

But when I walked into the cafeteria with Ango I saw that his four siblings of sorts were sitting together and he was not with them.

Odasaku intercepted us and steered us to his table. Ango seemed over-joyed by the attention and his friends quickly joined us. But as I tried to listen to their easy conversations, I was terribly uncomfortable, waiting anxiously for the moment when he would arrive. I hoped he would simply ignore me when he came and prove my suspicions false.

He didn't come and as time passed I became more and more tense. 

I walked to Biology with more confidence when by the end of lunch he still hadn't shown. Odasaku, who had taken on the qualities of an angel guardian, walked faithfully by my side to class. I held my breath at the door, but Dazai Osamu wasn't there either. I exhaled and went to my seat. Odasaku followed, talking about an upcoming trip to the beach. He lingered by my desk until the bell rang. Then he smiled at me and went to sit by a girl with blond hair. 

I was relieved to have the desk to myself, that Dazai was absent. Or thats what I told myself repeatedly. But I couldn't get rid of the nagging suspicion that I was the reason he wasn't here. It was ridiculous, to think that I could affect someone that strongly. It was impossible. And yet I couldn't stop worrying that it was true.

When the school day was finally over, I changed into my jeans and blue shirt, pleased that I found myself alone without any puppies following me around. I walked to the parking lot. It was crowded now with fleeing students. I got in my truck and dug through my bag to make sure I had everything I needed.

Last night I had discovered that Yosano couldn't cook anything besides eggs and bacon. So I requested that I be assigned to cooking duty for the duration of my stay. She agreed easy enough. I then found out there was no food in the house. So I had my shopping list and the cash from the jar under the sink labeled **FOOD MONEY** and I was on my to the grocery store.

I turned on my loud engine, ignoring the heads that turned my way and backed carefully into the line of cars waiting to exit the parking lot. As I waited, i tried to pretend the deafening noise was coming from someone else's car. I saw Dazai's siblings getting into their car. It was the shiny convertible. Of course. I hadn't noticed their clothes before - I was to mesmerized in their faces - but now that I looked it was obvious that they were wealthy. With their remarkable good lucks they could wear garbage bags and look like runaway models. But as far as life worked, they had everything.

No, I didn't believe that. The isolation has got to be hard. But it was probably their desire; I couldn't imagine any door that wouldn't be opened to that degree of beauty.

They turned to look at my noisy truck as I passed them, just like everybody else. I kept my eyes straight forward and was relieved when I finally made it off of the school grounds. The grocery store was not far from the school, just a few streets off of the highway, like most things in Yokohama. It felt good to inside a supermarket - normal. I did the shopping at home and fell into a pattern of familiar tasks easily. The store was big enough that I couldn't hear the tapping of the rain on the roof to remind me where I was. 

When I got home I unloaded all the groceries, stuffing them in wherever I could find an open space. I hoped Yosano wouldn't mind. When I finished unloading everything I took my bag upstairs. Before starting my homework I changed into a pair of sweats and a hoodie and checked my email for the first time. I had three messages.

"Chuuya," Kouyou wrote . . .

_Write to me as soon as you get in. Tell me how your night was. Is it raining? I miss you already. I'm almost finished packing for China, but I can't find my pink yukata. Do you know where I put it? Mizuki says hi. Mom._

I sighed and went to the next one. It was sent eight hours after the first.

_Why haven't you emailed me yet? What are you waiting for? Mom._

The last one is from this morning.

_Chuuya, if I haven't heard from you by 5:00 p.m. I am calling Yosano._

I checked the clock, I still had an hour, but Kouyou was known for jumping the gun.

_Mom,_

_Calm down. I'm writing right now. Don't do anything rash._

Chuuya.

I sent that then began again.

_Mom._

_Everything is great. Of course it's raining. I was waiting for something to write about. School isn't bad, just a little boring. I met some nice kids who sit by me at lunch._

_Your Yukata is at a dry cleaners - you were supposed to pick it up Friday._

_Yosano bought me a truck, can you believe it? I love it. It's old, but really sturdy. Which is good, you know, for someone like me._

_I miss you too. I'll write again soon but I'm not going to check my email every five minutes._

_Relax. Breathe. I love you._

_Chuuya._

I had decided to read _Wuthering Heights_ \- the novel we are currently studying in english - yet again for the fun of it and that's what I was doing when Yosano came home.

"Chuuya?" She called out.

_Who else?_

"Hey mom. Welcome home."

"Thanks." She hung up her belt and strapped out of her boots. As far as I was aware, she'd never shot the gun on job. But she kept it ready. When I came here as a child she would always remove the bullets as soon as she walked in the door. I guess she considered me old enough to not shoot myself by accident or be depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose.

"What's for dinner?" She asked warily. Kouyou was always an imaginative cook, and her experiments weren't always edible. Yosano probably thought I followed in her footprints.

"Steak and potatoes." I answered and she looked relieved.

She seemed to feel awkward standing in the kitchen and doing nothing so she walked into the living room to watch tv while I worked. We were both more comfortable that way. I made a salad while I watched the stake cook and set the table.

I called her when dinner was ready and she sniffed the room before smirking and walking in.

"Smells good, Chuuya."

"Thanks."

We ate in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't unusual or uncomfortable. Neither of us were bothered by the quiet. In some ways, we were perfect for living together. 

"So how did you like school? Have you made any friends?" She asked.

"Well, I have a few classes with a boy named Ango. I sit with his friends during lunch. And there's this boy Odasaku, who's very friendly. Everybody seems pretty nice." With one outstanding exception.

"That must be Oda Sakunosuke. Nice kid, nice family. His dad owns a sporting goods store just outside of town. He makes a good living off all the backpackers who come through here."

"Do you know the Ogai's?" I asked hesitantly.

"Dr.Mori's family? Sure. Dr.Mori's a great man."

"They...the kids..seem a little different. They don't seem to fit in very well at school."

Yosano surprised me by looking angry.

"People in this town," She muttered.

"Dr.Mori is a brilliant surgeon who could work in any hospital, make ten times the salary he makes here. We're lucky to have him - lucky that his husband wanted to live in a small town. His husband is also brilliant and their children are brilliant to. Dr. Mori's husband and son, Ranpo, help out at the police station all the time. They are an asset to this community and all of the kids are well behaved and polite. I had my doubts when they first moved, with all of those adopted children. I thought we might have problems with them - I haven't had one speck of trouble from any of them. That's more than I can say about some of the people who have lived here in this town for generations. And they stick together a way a family should - camping trips every other weekend. Just because they're newcomers, people have to talk."

It was the longest speech I heard Yosano say in a long time. She must feel strongly about whatever people where saying.

I backpedaled.

"They seemed nice enough to me. I just noticed they kept to themselves. They are all very attractive." I complimented.

"You should see the doctor." Yosano laughed.

"Its a good thing he's happily married. A lot of the nurses have a hard time concentrating when he's around." 

We lapsed into silence when we finished eating. She cleared the table while I started doing the dishes. She continued watching the tv after I finished hand washing the dishes - no dishwasher - and I went upstairs to unwillingly do my math homework. I could feel a tradition in the making. 

That night was finally quiet. I fell asleep quickly, exhausted.

The rest of the week was uneventful. I got used to all my classes. By Friday I was able to recognize, if not name, almost all the students in the school. In gym, my teammates learned to not pass me the ball and to quickly step in front of me if the other team tried to take advantage of my weakness. I happily stayed out of their way. 

Dazai Osamu didn't come back to school.

Everyday I watched anxiously until the rest of the Ougai's entered the cafeteria and left without him. Then I could relax and join in on the lunchtime conversations. Mostly it centered around the trip to the Hunting Dogs Ocean in two weeks that Odasaku was planning. I was invited and I had agreed to go, out of politeness rather than desire. Beaches aren't fun.

By Friday I was perfectly comfortable entering my Biology class, no longer worried that Dazai would be there. For all I knew, he had dropped out of school. I tried not to think about him, but I couldn't totally suppress the worry that I was responsible for his disappearance, as stupid as it sounds.

My first weekend in Yokohama passed without incident. Yosano, unused to spending time in the usually empty house, worked for most of the weekend. I cleaned the house, got ahead on my school work, wrote an email to Kouyou. I did drive to the library on Saturday but it was so empty that I didn't even bother to get a card. I would have to make a date to visit an out of town library. I wondered idly what kind of gas mileage the truck had..

The rain stayed soft over the weekend, quiet, so I was able to sleep well. 

People greeted me in the parking lot on Monday morning. I didn't know all of their names but I waved back and smiled at everyone. It was colder this morning, but happily not raining. In english, Odasaku took his seat by my side. We had a pop quiz. It was very easy and straightforward. 

All in all, I was feeling more comfortable than I thought I would feel. More comfortable than I ever expected to feel. When we walked out of class, the air was full of swirling bits of white. I could hear people shouting happily to one another. 

"wow." Odasaku said.  
"It's snowing."

I looked at the little cotton fluffs that were falling everywhere.

"Ew." Snow. There went my good day.

Oda looked surprised.

"You don't like snow?"

"No. That means it's too cold for rain." Obviously.

"Besides I thought it was supposed to come down in flakes. Like everyone's unique and all that. These look like the tips of Q-tips."

"Haven't you ever seen snow fall before?" He asked incredulously. 

"Sure I have...on tv.."

Odasaku laughed. Then a big, squashy ball of dripping snow smacked into the back of his head. We both turned to see where it came from. I had my suspicions it was Kenji, who was walking away from us with his back turned. In the wrong direction of his next class. Odasaku apparently had the same idea. He bent over and began scrapping a big pile of snow off of the floor and into a big white mush. 

"I'll see you at lunch ok?" I kept walking as I spoke.   
"When people start throwing wet stuff I go inside."

He just nodded and kept his eyes on Kenji's retreating figure. 

Throughout the morning everyone chattered excitedly about the snow. Apparently there was going to be a snow fight in the parking lot after school. One that I would not attend. Sure, snow was drier than rain. Until it melted in your socks.

I walked with Ango to the cafeteria alteradly. Snow balls were flying everywhere. I kept my binder in my hands as a shield. Ango thought I was hilarious but there was something in my expression that kept him from throwing one at me.

Odasaku caught up to us as we walked through the doors. He and Ango talked happily about the snow fight after school. I glanced towards the table in the corner out of habit. And then froze where I stood. There were five people at the table.

Ango pulled my arm.

"Hello? Earth to Chuuya? What do you want to eat?"

I looked downs. My ears felt hot.

"What's wrong with Chuuya?" Odasaku asked Ango.

"Nothing." I answered. 

"I'll just get a soda today."

"Aren't you hungry?" Ango asked me.

"Actually, I feel a little sick." I said, my eyes still on the floor.

I waited for them to get their food and then followed them to the table, my eyes on my feet. I sipped on my soda slowly, my stomach churning. Twice, Odasaku asked how I was feeling. 

I told him it was nothing but I was wondering if I should play it up and escape to the nurses office for the next hour.

Ridiculous. I shouldn't have to run away.

I decided to allow myself one glance at the Ogai's table. If he was glaring at me I would skip Biology.

I kept my head down and glanced up through my lashes. None of them were looking this way. I lifted my head a little.

They were laughing. Dazai, Poe and Atsushi all had their hair completely covered in snow. Ranpo and Akutagawa were leaning away from Atsushi as he shook his hair in their direction. They were enjoying the snowy day like everyone else - although they looked like a scene from a movie. 

But aside from the laughter, there was something different. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. I examined Dazai carefully. He was less pale I decided and the circles under his eyes were much less noticeable. But there was something more I wondered. 

"Chuuya, what are you staring at?" Ango interrupted, confused eyes following mine.

At that exact moment his eyes flashed over to meet mine.

I dropped my head, letting my hair fall to conceal my face. I was sure, though, in the instant that our eyes met, that he didn't look harsh or unfriendly like he did last time.He simply look curios, unsatisfied in some way.

"Dazai Osamu is staring at you." Ango whispered into my ear.

"Does he look angry?"

"No." He said, sounding confused by my question.

"SHould he be?"

"I don't think he likes me." I said. I stil; felt queasy. I put my head down on my arm.

"The Ougai's don't like anybody. But he is still staring at you."

"Stop looking at him." I hissed.

He snickered but looked away. I raised my head to make sure he did, contemplating violence if he didn't.

Odasaku interrupted us talking about the massive snow fight.

For the rest of the lunch hour I kept my eyes at my own table.I decided to honor the bargain i made with myself.Since he didn't look angry I would go to biology. My stomache did a little frightened flip at the thought of sitting next to him again. 

I didn't really want to walk to class with Odasaku - he seemed like a popular target for snowball snipers - but when we got to the door everyone besides me groaned in unison. It was raining, washing away all traces of snow. I pulled my hood up, hiding my smile. I would be free to go home after school. 

Odasaku kept up a string of complaints on the way to class.

Once inside the classroom I let out a sigh of relief that my table was still empty. Mr.Francis was walking around the room distributing one microscope and a box with slides to every table. Class didn't start for a few minutes so I took out notebook and started drawing on the cover.

I heard very clearly when the chair next to me moved, but I kept my eyes focused on the pattern I was drawing. 

"Hello." I heard a quiet, musical voice.

I looked up, stunned that he was speaking to me. He was sitting as far as he could from me, his hair dripping wet and disheveled. Even so, he looked like he just finished a fashion shoot. His dazzling face was friendly, open and a sight smile on his lips. But his eyes were careful.

"My name is Dazai Osamu." He continued.  
"I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Chuuya."

My mind was swimming. Had I made up the thing? He seemed perfectly polite now. I had to speak. He was waiting. But I couldn't think of anything to say.

"H-how do you know my name?" i asked.

He laughed, soft and enchanting sound.

"I think everybody knows your name. The whole town has been waiting for you to arrive."

I grimace. I knew it was something like that.

"No. I meant why did you call me Chuuya?"

He looked confused.

"Do you prefer Nakahara?"

"No, I like Chuuya. But everybody here always calls me Nakahara at first." I tried to explain feeling like an utter moron.

"Oh." He let it drop. I looked away awkwardly. 

Thankfully, Mr.Francis decided to start class at that moment. I tried to concentrate as he explained the lab we would be doing today. The slides in the box were out of order. Working as lab partners we had to separate and label them accordingly. We weren't supposed to use out books. In twenty minutes he would come around to see who got it right. 

"Get started." He said.

"Would you like to go first?" Dazai asked. I looked up to see him smiling a crooked smile so beautiful that I could only stare at him like an idiot.   
"Or I could start, if you want to?" The smile faded. He was probably wondering if I was mentally competent.

"No." I said flushing.  
"I'll go first."

I was showing off, just a little. I'd already done this in lab so i knew what I was looking for. It should be easy. I put the slide under the microscope and studied it briefly. 

"Prophase."

"Do you mind if I look?" He asked as I began to remove the slide. 

His hand caught mine, to stop me, as he asked. His fingers were ice cold, like he'd been holding them in a pile of snow before class. But that wasn't why I jerked away. When he touched me, it was like a spark that went through my entire body.

"I'm sorry." He muttered pulling his hand back. However he continued to reach for the microscope. I watched him, still stunned, as he examined the slide for an even shorter time than i did.

"Prophase." He agreed, writing it neatly in the first space on our worksheet. He swiftly switched out the first slide for the second and then looked at it.

"Anaphase." He muttered, writing it down as he spoke.

"Mind if I check?" I asked, keeping my voice indifferent.

He smirked and pushed the microscope to me.

I looked through the eyepiece eagerly, only to be disappointed. Sadly, he was right.

"Slide three?" I held out my hand without looking at him.

He handed it to me. It seemed like he was trying not to touch my skin again.

I took the quickest look I could manage. 

"Interphase." I passed him the microscope before he could ask. He took a swift look, and then wrote it down. I would have written it except my hands writing is similar to a toddler's compared to hid elegant script.

We were the first ones finished. I could see Odasaku and his partner comparing two slides again and again and another group had their book open under the table.

I had nothing to do but try not to look at Dazai..unsuccessfully. I glanced up and he was staring at me, the same unidentifiable look on his face. Suddenly I identified the change in his face.

"Did you get contacts?" I blurted out.

He looked confused.  
"No."

"Oh," I mumbled.  
"I thought something was different about your eyes."

He shrugged and looked away. 

I was actually sure something was different with his eyes. I vividly remember the color of his eyes being black the last time he glared at me. The color was striking against his pale skin. Today, his eyes were a different color. A strange golden and brown color, with specks of gold. I didn't understand how that happened, unless he was lying about the contacts. Or maybe I was just going crazy.

I looked down. His hands were clenched into tight fists again.

Mr.Francis came up to our table to see why we weren't looking. He looked over our shoulders to glance at the completed lab.

"So, Dazai, didn't you think Nakahara should have gotten a turn with the microscope?" He asked.

"Chuuya." Dazai corrected.  
"And he actually identified three of the five slides."

Mr.Francis looked at me now.  
"Did you do this in a lab before?"

"Not with onion root." I smiled sheepishly.

"Whitefish blastula?"

"Yeah."

Mr.Francis nodded.  
"Were you in advanced placement in Shanghai?"

"Yes."

"Well," He said after a moment.  
"Then it's a good thing you are partners."

He then walked away and I began doodling on the cover of my notebook again.

"It's to bad about the snow isn't it?" Dazai asked and I had a feeling he was forcing himself to make small talk with me. Anxiety swept over me again. It was like he heard my conversation at lunch with Ango and he was trying to prove me wrong. 

"Not really." I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else. I was still focusing on dismissing my suspicion and couldn't concentrate.

"You don't like the cold." It wasn't a question.

"Or the wet." I answered.

"Yokohama must be a difficult place for you to live then." He mused.

"You have no idea." I muttered darkly.

He looked fascinated by what I said for a reason I didn't know. His face was very distracting. 

"Why did you come here then?" He asked.

Nobody had asked me that, not like he had. 

"Its...complicated."

"I think I can keep up." He smirked.

I paused for a moment and then made the mistake of looking at him. His dark gold eyes were fixed on me and I answered without thinking.

"My mom got remarried."

"That doesn't sound to complex." He said.  
"What did that happened?"

"Last October." My voice sounded sad, even to me.

"And you don't like..them?" Dazai asked politely.

"No no. Mizuki is fine. She's a little young maybe, but nice enough."

"Why didn't you stay with them then?"

I couldn't understand why he was so interested but he continued to stare at me, as if my dull life's story was suddenly important.

"Mizuki travels a lot. She plays soccer for a living." I half smiled.

"Have I heard of her?" He said, smiling in response.

"She plays soccer, but she doesn't play _well._ So probably not."

"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." He worded it like a statement again, not a question. 

My chin raised a fraction.  
"She did not send me here. I sent myself."

His eyebrows grew together.  
"I don't understand." He admitted, seeming unnecessarily frustrated by the fact.

I sighed. Why was I explaining this to him? He continued to stare at me with obvious curiosity.

"Kouyou, my mom, stayed with me at first but she missed Mizuki. It made her unhappy. So I decided to come here and spend some quality time with Yosano." My voice was glum once I finished.

"But now you're unhappy." He pointed out.

"And?" I challenged.

"That doesn't seem fair." He shrugged but his eyes were still intense.

I laughed without humor.  
"Hasn't anyone ever told you that life isn't fair?"

"I believe I have heard that somewhere." He agreed dryly.

"So that's all." I said, wondering why he was still staring at me.

His gaze become praising.  
"You put on a good show." He said slowly.  
"But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let on."

I grimace at him, resisting the urge to stick my tongue out at him like a two year old and turned away.

"Am I wrong?"

I pretended to ignore him.

"I didn't think so." He said smugly.

"Why does it matter to you anyways?" i asked irritated. I kept my eyes away, watching the teacher make his rounds.

"Thats a very good question." He muttered it so quietly that I wondered if he was talking to himself. However, after a few seconds of silence I decided that was the only answer I was going to get. 

I sighed and turned, scowling at the blackboard.

"Am I annoying you?" He asked. He sounded amused.

I turned back to him without thinking.  
"Not really. I'm more annoying with myself. Kouyou has always called me her open book. My face is really easy to read."

"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read." Despite everything I said and he'd guessed he sounded like he meant it.

"You must be a good reader than." I said.

"Usually." He smiled, showing a pair of flashing white and perfect teeth.

Mr.Francis called the class's attention and I turned to look at him. I was in disbelief that I'd just explained my life to this bizarre, beautiful boy who may or may not despise me. He seemed interested in our conversation, but now I could see from the corner of my eye that he was leaning away from me again, his hands dripping the edge of the counter with tension.

I tried to appear attentive as Mr.Francis illustrated through the projector what I had seen without difficulty through the microscope. But my thoughts were unmanageable.

When the bell rang, Dazai rushed as swiftly and gracefully out the door as he had on Monday. And, like Monday, i stared at him in amazement. 

Odasaku walked to my side and picked up my books for me. I imagined him in a halo.

"That was awful." He groaned.  
"They all looked exactly the same. You're lucky you had Osamu as a partner."

"I didn't have any trouble with it." I said, a little stung by the assumption.  
"I've done this in lab before." I added before his feelings could get hurt.

"Osamu seemed friendly today." He commented as we put on our coats. He didn't seem to happy.

"I wonder what was with him last Monday." I said, keeping my voice neutral.

I couldn't focus on Odasaku's talk as we walked to the gym and P.E. didn't hold my attention. Odasaku was on my team today. He covered my position as well as his own.

The rain was just fog when I was walking to the parking lot, but I was happier when I was in the dry car. I got the heater running, not caring about the roaring of the engine. I unzipped my jacket, put my hood down, and ran a hand threw my hair.

I looked around the parking lot to make sure it was clear. Thats when I noticed the tall, still white figure. Dazai Osamu was leaning against the door to the convertible, three cars down from and staring intently in my direction. I swiftly looked away and threw the truck into reverse, almost hitting a rusty toyota in my haste. Lucky for the toyota, I stomped on the breaks in time. It was just the sort of car my truck would make scrap metal of. I took a deep breath, still looking at the other side of my car, and cautiously pulled out again, this time with success. I stared straight ahead as I drove, but in the corner of my eye, I swear I saw him laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I didn't make to many mistakes (>_<)


	4. Phenominom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That was the first night I dreamed of Dazai Osamu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to re-write the beginning because it somehow got deleted  
> My school started TwT  
> All hail clumsy Chuuya  
> Sorry this is kinda late

When I opened my eyes in the morning, something was wrong.

It was the light. it was still the gray-green light of a cloudy day in the forest, but it was clearer somehow. I realized there was no fog covering my window. I jumped out of bed and ran to the window to look outside and the groaned in horror. 

There was a layer of snow covering the yard, dusting the top of my truck and whitening the road. But that wasn't the worst part. All the rain from last night had frozen solid. Making the driveway a deadly ice skating arena. I had enough trouble not falling down when the ground was dry. It might be safer for me to just go back to bed.

Yosano had already left by the time i got downstairs. In a lot of ways, living with Yosano was like living by myself. It was nice but sometimes it got lonely. I ate a quick bowl of cereal and drank some milk. I felt excited to go to school and that scared me. I knew I wasn't excited because of the learning or my new friends. If I was being honest, I knew I wanted to go to school because I wanted to see Dazai Osamu. And that was very very stupid.

I should be avoiding him completely after my brainless and embarrassing babbling yesterday. And I was suspicious about him. Why would he lie about his eyes? I was also scared of the hostility I sometimes felt emanating from him and I was still speechless after picturing his stupid pretty face. I was well aware my league and his league were two different worlds and that those worlds don't connect. So I shouldn't be that anxious to see him today. 

It took every ounce of my concentration to make it to my car without falling and I still had to grab the mirror to keep from dying. Clearly, today was going to be difficult.

Driving to school, I distracted myself from my fear of falling and speculations about Dazai Osamu by thinking about Kenji and Odasaku and the obvious way the boys responded to me. I was sure I look exactly the same as I had in Shanghai. Maybe it was just that the boys and girls back home had watched my slowly pass through the awkward faces of puberty and stop growing in middle school and still thought of me that way. Perhaps I was a novelty here, where novelties were few and far between. Possibly my crippling clumsiness was seen as endearing rather than pathetic, causing me to be some damsel in distress. Most people didn't know that I my tongue was my greatest weapon and I could chew you out for insulting me and make you go home crying to mommy.

My truck seemed to have no problems with the black ice that covered the roads. I drove very slowly though, not wanting to carve a path of destruction.

When I got out of my truck at school I saw why I'd had so little trouble. Something silver caught my eye and I walked to the back of the truck - holding the side for support - to examine my tires. There were thin chains crisscrossed in a diamond shape around them. Yosano had gotten up who knows how early to put snow chains on my truck. My throat suddenly felt tight. I wasn't used to being taken care of and Yosano's unspoked concern caught me by surprise.

I was standing by the back corner of my truck, struggling to fight back the sudden wave of emotion the snow chains had brought on, that I head a weird sound.

It was a high pitched screech and it was painfully loud. I looked up, startled.

I saw several things at once. Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in movies. Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make my brain work much faster and I was able to absorb in clear detail several things.

Dazai Osamu was standing four cars down from me, staring at me in horror. His face stood out from the sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of horror. But more importantly was the dark blue van that was skidding, tries locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot. It was going to hit the back corner of my truck, and I was standing right in front of it. I didn't even have time to close my eyes.

Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck, something hit me, hard, but not from the direction I was expecting. My head cracked against the icy blacktop and I felt something solid and cold pining me to the ground. I was lying on the pavement behind the tan car I parked next to. But I didn't have the chance to notice anything else, because the van was still coming. It had curled gratingly around the end of the truck and still spinning and sliding, was about to collide into me.

A low curse made me aware something was in front of me and the voice was impossible not the recognize. Two long, pale hands shot out protectively in front of me and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands making a deep dent in the side of the van. 

Then his hands moved so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping the bottom of the van and something was dragging me, swinging my legs around like a rag dolls, till they hit the tire of the van. A metallic thud hurt my ears and the van settled, glass popping onto the ground - exactly where my legs had been a moment ago.

It was absolutely silent for one second before the screaming began. In all the noise I could hear more than once person shouting my name. But more clearly that that, I could hear Dazai Osamu's low, frantic voice in my ear.  
"Chuuya? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."  
My voice sounded weird. I tried to sit up and realized he was holding me against the side of his body in an iron grasp.

"Be careful." He warned as I struggled.  
"I think you hit your head pretty hard."

I became aware of the throbbing ache centered above my left ear.

"Ow." I groaned.

"Thats what I thought." HIs voice, amazingly, sounded like he was suppressing laughter.

"How.." I trailed off, trying to clear my head.  
"How did you get over here so fast?"

"I was standing right next to you Chuuya." His voice got serious again.

I turned to sit up and this time he let me, releasing me from his hold against my waist and sliding as far from me as he could in the small face. I looked at his concerned, innocent expression and was disoriented again by his golden eyes. What was I asking him?

And then they found us, a crowd of people with tears streaming down their faces, shouting at each other, at us.

"Don't move!" Someone instructed.

"Get Tanizaki out of the van!" Someone else shouted.

There was a bunch of activity around us. I tried to get up, but Dazai's cold grip pushed my shoulder down. 

"Just stay put for now." 

"But it's cold." I complained.

It surprised me when he chuckled under his breath. 

"You were over there." I said and his chuckling stopped.  
"You were by your car."

His expression turned hard.  
"No I wasn't.

"I saw you." All around us was chaos. I could hear the gruffer voices of adults arriving on the scene. But I stupidly held our argument. I was right and he was going to admit it. 

"Chuuya, I was standing with you and I pulled you out of the way." He unleashed the full, devastating power of his eyes on me, as if trying to communicate something crucial.

"No." I set my jaw.

His eyes blazed.  
"Please Chuuya."

"Why?" I demanded. 

"Trust me." He pleaded, his voice becoming soft.

I could hear the sirens now.  
"Will you promise to explain everything later?"

"Fine." He snapped.

"Fine." I repeated angrily.

It took six EMT's and two teachers - Mr.Rimbaud and Coach Fukuchi - to shift the van far away enough for the stretchers to fit. Dazai refused his, and I tried to do the same, but the traitor told them I hit my head and might have a concussion. I almost died of embarrassment when they put me in a neck brace. It looked like the entire school was there, watching as they loaded me in the back of the ambulance. Dazai got to rid in the front. It was infuriating. 

To make matters worse, Chief Yosano arrived before they could get me away safely.

"Chuuya!" She yelled in a panic when she saw me in the stretcher.

"I'm completely fine, Yo- Mom." I sighed.   
"There's nothing wrong with me."

She completely ignored me and turned to an EMT for another opinion. I tuned her out to consider the jumble of inexplicable images in my head. When they'd lifted me for the car, I saw the deep dent in the tan car's bumper - very similar to the shape of Dazai's shoulders as if he had braced himself against the car with enough force to damage the metal frame.

And then there was his family, looking on from the distance, with faces that ranged from disapproval to fury but held no concern for their brother's safety. 

I tried to think of a possible explanation for what I had just seen - a solution that excluded the insane assumption I'd just made.

Naturally, the ambulance got a police escort to the hospital. I felt ridiculous the entire time they unloaded me. What made things worse was that Dazai simply glided through the hospital doors under his own power. I grit my teeth.

They put me in the emergency room, a long room with a line of beds separated by pastel colored curtains. A nurse put a pressure cuff on my arm and a thermometer in my mouth. Since no one bothered to pull the curtain to give me privacy, I decided that I wasn't required to wear the stupid neck brace. When the nurse walked away, I quickly unfastened the straps and threw it under the bed.

There was another flurry of hospital workers, another stretcher brought to the bed next to me. I recognized Jun'ichirō Tanizaki from my history class beneath blood stained bandages wrapped tightly around his head. Tanizaki looked a hundred times worse than I felt. But he was staring anxiously at me. 

"Chuuya! I am so sorry!"

"I'm fine Tanizaki. You look awful though. Are you alright?"

As we spoke nurses began unwinding his bandages, exposing several shallow cuts all over his forehead and left cheek. 

He ignored me.  
"I thought I was going to kill you! I was going too fast and I hit the ice wrong..." He winced as one of the nurses starting dabbing his cheek.

"Don't worry about it. You missed me."

"How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there and then you were gone."

"Um...Dazau pulled me out of the way."

He looked confused.

"Dazai Osamu. He was standing next to me." I'd always been a terrible liar. I didn't sound convincing at all. 

"Osamu? I didn't see him...wow it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?"

"I think so. He's here somewhere but they didn't make him use a stretcher." 

I knew I wasn't crazy. What had happened? There was no way to explain what I'd seen.   
They wheeled me away then, to X-ray my head. I told them there was nothing wrong and I was right. Not even a concussion. I asked if I could leave but the nurse said I had to talk to the doctor first. So I was trapped in the ER, waiting, harrassed by Tanizaki's apologies and promises to make it up to me. No matter how many times I tried to convince him it was fine, he continued to torment himself. Finally, I closed my eyes and ignored him. He kept up his remorseful murmuring. 

"Is he sleeping?" A musical voice asked. My eyes flew open.

Dazai was standing at the foot of my bed, smirking. I glared at him. It wasn't easy - it would have been much easier to ogle. 

"Hey, Dazai, I'm really sorry-" Tanizaki started.

Dazai lifted a hand to stop him.

"No blood no foul." He said, flashing his brilliant teeth. He moved to sit at the end of Tanizaki's bed, smirking at me.

"So, what's the verdict?" He asked me.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all but they won't let me go." I complained.  
"How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"It's all about the people you know." He said.  
"But don't worry, I came to prepare you."

Then a doctor walked around the corner and my mouth fell open. He was young, black haired....and handsomer than any movie star I'd seen. He was pale, tired-looking, with circles under his eyes. From Yosano's description, he was one of Dazai's dads.

"So Mister Nakahara." Dr.Ougai said in a remarkably appealing voice,  
"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." I said for hopefully the last time.

We walked to the light board above my head and turned it on.

"Your X-rays look good." He said.   
"Does your head hurt? Dazai said you hit your head pretty hard."

"Im fine." I repeated with a sigh, throwing a quick scowl towards Dazai.

The doctors cold fingers probed lightly along my skull. He noticed when I winced.

"Tender?: The doctor asked.

"Not really." I'd had worse.

I heard a chuckle and looked over to see Dazai's patronizing smile. I narrowed my eyes.

"Well, your mother is in the waiting room - you can go home with her now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all."

"Can't I go back to school?" I asked, knowing Yosano was going to go all mothers mode on me.

"Maybe you should take it easy today."

"Does _he_ get ti go back to school?" I glanced at Dazai.

"Someone has to spread the good news we survived." Dazai said smugly. 

"Actually," Dr.Ougai corrected.  
"Most of the school seems to be in the waiting room.

"Oh no." I moaned, covering my face with my hands. 

Dr. Ougai raised his eyebrows.  
"Do you want to stay?"

"No no!" I insisted, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and hopping down quickly. Too quickly - I staggered and Dr.Ougai caught me. He looked concerned.

"I'm fine." I assured him again. No need to tell him my balance problems had nothing to do with hitting my head.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain." He suggested as he steadied me.

"It doesn't hurt that bad." I insisted.

"It sounds like you extremely lucky." Dr.Ougai said with a smile.

"Lucky Dazai happened to be standing next to me." I said, sending a hard glare at Dazai.

"Oh, well, yes." Dr.Ougai agreed, suddenly occupied with the papers in front of him. Then he looked away at Tanizaki and walked to the next bed. My intuition flickered; The doctor was in on it.

"I'm afraid that _you'll_ have to stay with us a little bit longer."He said to Tanizaki and began checking his cuts.

As soon as the doctors back turned I moved to Dazai's side. 

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I hissed under my breath. He took a step back from me and clenched his jaw.

"Your mother is waiting for you." He said through his teeth.

I glanced at Dr.Ougai and Tanizaki.

"I'd like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind." I pressed.

He glared and then turned his back and walked down the long room. I almost had to run to keep up. As soon as we turned into the corner of a short hallway, he spun around to face me.

"What do you want?" He sounded annoyed. His eyes were cold/

His unfriendliness intimidated me. My words came out with less severity than I'd intended.  
"You owe me an explanation." I reminded him.

"I saved your life. I don't owe you anything." 

I flinched back from the resentment in his voice.  
"You promised."

"Chuuya, you hit your head. You don't know what you're talking about." His tone was cutting.

My temper flared now and I was definitely glaring at him now.  
"There is nothing wrong with my head."

He glared back  
"What do you want from me Chuuya."

"I want the truth."   
"I want to know why I'm lying for you." 

"What do you _think_ happened?" He snapped.

It came out in a rush.

"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me - Tanizaki didn't see you either so don't tell me I hit my head. That van was going to crush us both - and it didn't and your hands left dents in the van- and the van should have crushed my legs but you were holding it up.." I could hear how crazy it sounded and I couldn't continue. I was so mad I felt tears coming. I tried to force them back by gritting my teeth.

"He was staring at me incredulously. But his face was tense, defensive. 

"You think I lifted a van off you?" His tone questioned my sanity but it only made me more sucpicous.It was like a perfectly designed like an actor. 

I merely nodded again, my jaw tight.

"Nobody will believe you."

"I wasn't going to tell anyone." I said slowly, controlling my anger.

Surprise crossed his face.  
"Then why does it matter?"

"It matters to me." I insisted.  
"I don't like to lie so there better be a good reason why I'm doing it."

"Can't you just thank me and get over it?"

"Thank you." I waited, fuming and expectant.

"You're not going to let this go are you?"

"No."

"In that case.. I hope you enjoy disappointment."

We scowled at each other in silence. I was the first to break the silence, trying to keep myself to focus. I was in danger of being distracted by his livid, perfect face. It was lik trying to stare down a destroying angel.

"Why did you even bother?" I asked frigidly.

He paused for a brief moment. Hia stunning face was unexpectedly vulnerable.  
"I don't know." He whispered.

And then he turned on his heel and walked away.

I was so angry it took me a few minutes until I could move. When I could walk, I slowly made my way to the exit at the end of the hallway.

The waiting room was more unpleasant than I'd feared. It seemed like everyone I knew in Yokohama was there, staring at me. Yosano rushed to my side; I put up my hands.  
"Theres nothing wrong with me." I assured her. I was still angry, not in the mood for talking.

"What did the doctor say?"

"Dr.Ougai saw me and he said I was fine and I could go home." I sighed.

Odasaku, Ango and Kenji were all there, falling in line behind me.

"Lets go." I didn't want to talk to them.

Yosano put one arm behind my back, not quite touching me, and led me to the glass doors of the exit. I waved at my friends, hoping to convey that they didn't need to worry anymore. It was a huge relief - the first time I'd ever felt that way - to get into the cruiser.

We drove in silence. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I barely knew Yosano was there. I was positive that Dazai's defensive behavior was a confirmation of the bizarre things I still could hardly believe I witnessed. 

When we got home Yosano finally spoke.  
"You might want to call Kouyou." She hung her head, guilty.

I was appalled.  
"You told Mom?!?"

"Sorry." 

I slammed the car door a little harder than necessary on my way out.

Kouyou was in hysterics of course. I had to tell her I felt fine at least thirty times before she would calm down. She begged me to come home - forgetting the fact that the house was empty at the moment - but her pleas were easier to resist than I thought. I was consumed by the mystery that I was Dazai Osamu. And more than a little obsessed with Dazai himself. Stupid stupid stupid. I wasn't as eager to escape Yokohama as I should be, as any normal, sane person would be.

I decided I might as well go to bed early that night. Yosano continued to watch me and it was getting on my nerves. I stopped on the way to grab some Tylenol from the bathroom. They did help and as the pain eased, I drifted to sleep.

That was the first night I dreamed of Dazai Osamu.


	5. Invitations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, I changed the updating schedule   
> Author is sorry TwT  
> Schools been killing me!  
> So anyways, I started reading the Haikyuu manga and cried when the anime was over :)  
> I wrote half this on ft with my bsf while she simped over the kissing booth -_-

In my dreams it was very dark and what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Dazai's skin. I couldn't see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the darkness. No matter how fast I ran I couldn't catch up to him. No matter how loud I screamed; He never turned. Troubled, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep again for the longest of times. After that, he was in my dreams nearly every night, but always far away, never within reach.

The month after the accident was uneasy and at first, embarrassing.

To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of the week. Tanizaki was impossible, following me around, obsessed with making amends with me somehow. I tried to convince him I wanted nothing more than for him to forget about it but he remained insistent. He followed me between classes and sat at our now crowded lunch table. Odasaku and Kenji were even less friendly to him then they were to each other, which made me worry I'd gained another unwanted fan. 

No one seemed worried about Dazai, though I'd explained over and over again that he was the hero - how he pulled me out of the way and had nearly been crushed. I tried to be convincing. Ango, Odasaku, Kenji and everyone else said they hadn't even seen him there till the van pulled away.

I wondered to myself why no one else had seen him standing so far away, before he was suddenly, impossibly, saving my life. With chagrin, I realized the probably cause - no body else was as attentive to Dazai as I always was. Nobody else watched him the way I did. How pitiful.

Dazai was never surrounded by crowds of curios bystanders eager for his firsthand account. People avoided him as usual. The Ougais sat at the end table as always, not smiling, not eating, talking only among themselves. None of them, especially Dazai, looked my way anymore.

When he sat next to me in class, he sat as far from me as the table would allow, he seemed totally unaware of my presence. Only now and then, when his fists would suddenly ball uo did I wonder if he was as oblivious as he appeared. 

He wished he hadn't pulled me out of the path from Tanizaki's van. There was no other conclusion I could come to.

I wanted to talk with him and the day after the accident I tried. The last time I'd seen him, outside the ER, we'd both been so furious. I was still angry that he didn't trust me with the truth, even though I was keeping my part of the bargain perfectly. But he had saved my life, no matter how he'd done it. And, overnight, the heat of my anger faded into awed gratitude. 

He was already seated when I got to Biology, looking straight ahead as I sat down. He showed no sign that he realized I was there.

"Hello, Dazai." I said pleasantly, to show him I was going to behave myself.

He turned his head a fraction towards mine without meeting my gaze, nodded once, and then looked the other way.

And that was the last contact I had with him, though he was still there, a foot away from me, every day. I watched him sometimes, unable to stop myself - from a distance though, in the cafeteria or parking lot. I watched as his golden eyes grew darker every day. But in class I gave no more notice that he existed than he showed me. I was miserable. And the dreams continued.

Despite my outright lies, the tenor of my emails altered Kouyou of my depression and she called a few times, worried. I tried to convince her that it was just the weather that had me down. 

Odasaku, at the least, seemed pleased at the iceness that Dazai was showing me. He was probably worried that by saving me Dazai would impress me and turn me into another fanboy. He was relieved to see that it had the opposite effect. He grew more confident, sitting on the edge of my table before Biology started, ignoring Dazai as completely as he ignored us. 

The snow washed away for good after that one dangerous icy day. Odasaku seemed disappointed that he didn't get to have his snowball fight, but pleased that that the beach trip would be as soon as possible. The rain continued heavily though, and the weeks passed.

Ango made me aware of another event looming on the horizon. He called the first Tuesday of March to ask my permission to invite Odasaku to the spring dance in two weeks.

"Are you sure you don't mind..you weren't planning to ask him?" He persisted when I told him I didn't mind the least.

"No, Ango, I'm not going." I assured him. Me and dancing did not get along well.

"It will be really fun." His attempt to convince me was halfhearted. 

"You have a fun day with Oda." I encouraged.

The next day, I was surprised to find that Ango wasn't his usual gushing self in Trig and Spanish. He was silent as he walked by my side between classes and I was afraid to ask why. If Odasaku turned him down, I was the last person he would want to tell. 

My fears were strengthened during lunch when Ango sat as far away from Odasaku as possible, talking quietly with Kenji. Odasaku was unusually quiet. 

Odasaku was still quiet as he walked me to class, the uncomfortable look on his face a bad sign. But he didn't talk about it until I was in my seat and he sat on my desk. As always, I was acutely aware of Dazai sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he was merely an invention of my imagination.

"So." Odasaku said looking at the floor.  
"Ango asked me to the dance."

"That's great." I made my voice bright and enthusiastic.  
"You'll have a lot of fun with Ango."

"Well..  
He floundered as he examined my smile, clearly not happy with my response.   
"I told her I had to think about it."

"Why would you do that?" I let disapproval color my tone, though I was relieved he hadn't given him an absolute no.

His face brightened and looked down again.

"I was wondering if..well..if you wanna go..with me.."

I paused for a moment, hating the wave of guilt that swept through me. From the corner of my eye I saw Dazai tilt his head toward my direction.

"Oda, I think you should tell him yes." I said.

"Did you already ask someone?" Did Dazai notice how Odasaku's eyes flicked in his direction. 

"No." I assured him.   
"I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" Odasaku demanded. 

I didn't want to explain the safety hazard that I would be, so I quickly made new plans. 

"I'm going to Port that weekend." I explained I needed to get out of town anyways and the Port was pretty much the only place with a good bookstore. 

"Can't you go another weekend?"

"Sorry, no." I said.  
"And You shouldn't make Ango wait any longer. It's rude."

"Yeah, you're right." He mumbled and turned, dejected, to walk back to his seat. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head. Mr.Francis was talking. I sighed and opened my eyes.

And Dazai was staring at me curiously, that same familiar edge of frustration even more distance now in his black eyes. 

I stared back, surprised, expecting him to look away quickly. But instead he continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes. My hands started to shake.

"Mr.Osamu?" The teacher called, seeking the answer to a question I didn't know was asked.

"The Krebs cycle." Dazai answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to loot at Mr.Francis.

I looked down at my book as soon as his eyes released me, trying to find my place. Cowardly as ever, I shifted my hair over my right shoulder to hide my face. I couldn't believe the rush of emotion going through me - just because he'd looking at me for the first time in a half-dozen weeks. I couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy. 

I tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and, since that was impossible, at least not let him know that I was aware of him. When the bell rang at last, I turned my back to him to gather my things, expecting him to leave immediately as usual.

"Chuuya?" His voice shouldn't have sounded that familiar to me, as if I'd known the sound of it all my life rather than for a few weeks.

I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel when I looked at his too-perfect face. My expression was wary when I finally turned to him, his expression unreadable. He didn't say anything.

"What? Are you speaking to me again?" I finally asked, an unintentional amount of anger in my voice.

His lips twitched, fighting a smile.  
"No not really." He admitted.

I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly through my nose, aware that I was gritting my teeth. He waited.

"Then what do you want, Dazai?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed. It was easier to talk to him that way.

"I'm sorry. I'm being rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

I opened my eyes. His face was serious.

"I don't know what you mean." I admitted, my voice guarded.

"It's better if we're not friends." He explained.   
"Trust me."

My eyes narrowed.

I'd heard _that_ before.

"It's just too bad you didn't figure that out earlier." I hissed through my teeth.  
"You could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" That word, and my tone, obviously caught him off guard.  
"Regret for what?"

"For not letting that stupid van crush me."

He was astonished. He stared at me in disbelief. 

When he finally spoke, he sounded mad.  
"You think I regret saving your life?"

"I _know_ you do." I snapped.

"You don't know anything." He was definitely mad.

I turned my head sharply away from him, clenching my jaw against all the wild accusations I wanted to hurl at him. I gathered my books together, then stood and walked out the door. I meant to sweep dramatically out of the room, but of course I caught the toe of my boot on the doorstep and dropped my books. I stood there for a moment, thinking about leaving them. Then I sighed and bent to pick them up. He was there. He'd already stacked them into a pile. He handed them to me, his face hard. 

"Thank you." I said icily.

His eyes narrowed.

"You're welcome." he retorted.

I straightened up swiftly, turned away from him again and stalked off to gym without looking back.

Gym was brutal. We'd moved on to basketball. My team never passed the ball, so that was good. Today was worse than usual because my head was so filled with Dazai. I tried to concentrate on my feet, but he kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed my balance.

It was a relied, as always, to leave. I almost ran to the truck; there were just so many people I wanted to avoid. The truck had suffered only minimal damage in the accident. I'd had to replace the taillights and if I'd had a real paint job, I would've touched that up too. Tanizaki's parents had to sell their van for parts.

I almost had a stroke when I rounded the corner and saw a dark figure leaning against the side of my truck. Then I realized it was Kenji. I started walking again.

"Hey, Kenji." I said.

"HI, Chuuya."

"What's up?" I said as I was unlocking the door. I wasn't paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, so his next words took me by surprise.

"Uh, I was just wondering...if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice broke on the last word.

I was shocked but recover my composure and tried to make my smile warm.   
"Thank you for inviting me, but I'm going to be in Port that day."

"Oh." He said.  
"Maybe next time."

"Sure." I agreed and bit my lip. I wouldn't want him to take that to literally. 

He slouched off, back toward the school. I heard a low chuckle. 

Dazai was walking past the front of my truck, looking straight forward, his lips pressed together. I yanked the door open and jumped inside, slamming it loudly behind me. I revved the engine deafeningly and reversed out into the aisle. Dazai was in his car already, two spaces down, sliding out smoothly in front of me, cutting me off. He stopped there - to wait for his family. I could see the four of them walking this way, but still by the cafeteria. I considered taking out the end of his shiny convertible, but there were too many witnesses. I looked in my rearview mirror. A line was beginning to form. Directly behind me was Tanizaki in his new Sentra, waving. I was too aggravated to acknowledge him.

While I was sitting there, looking everywhere but at the car in front of my, I heard a knock on my passenger side window, confused. It was Tanizaki. His care was still running, the door left open. I leaned across the car to crank the window down. It was stiff. I got it half way down, then gave up. 

"I'm sorry, Tanizaki. I'm stuck behind Osamu." I was annoyed - obviously the hold up wasn't my fault.

"Oh I know- I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." He grinned. 

This could not be happening. 

"Will you go with me to the spring dance?" He asked.

"I'm not going to be in town." My voice sounded a little shop. I had to remember it wasn't his fault Odasaku and Kenji had also asked me. 

"Yeah, Odasaku said that." He admitted.

"Then why -"

He shrugged.  
"I was hoping you were just letting him down easy."

Okay, it was completely his fault.

"Sorry, Tanizaki." I said, working to hide my irritation.   
"I really am going to be out of town."

"That's cool. We still have prom."

Before I could respond, he was walking back to his car. I could feel the shock on my face. I looked forward to see Ranpo, Akutagawa, Atsushi, and Poe sliding into the car. In the rearview mirror, Dazai's eyes were on me. He was unquestionably shaking with laugher, as if he'd heard every word Tanizaki had said. My foot itched on the gas pedal...one little bump wouldn't hurt any of them, just that glossy paint job. I revved the engine. 

But they were all in and Dazai was speeding away. I drove away slowly, carefully, muttering to myself the whole way.

When I got home, I decided to make chicken enchiladas for dinner. It was a long process and would keep me busy. While I was making the onions the phone rang. I was almost afraid to answer it, but it might be Yosano or Kouyou.

It was Ango and he was ecstatic. Odasaku had caught him after school to accept his invitation. I celebrated with him briefly while stirring. He had to go, he wanted to call Kyoya and Naomi to tell them. I suggested - with casual innocence - that maybe Kyoya, the shy girl who had biology with me, could ask Kenji. And Naomi, a loud girl who had always ignored me at the lunch table could ask Tachihara. Ango thought it was a great idea. Now that he sure of Odasaku, he actually sounded sincere when he said he wished I would go to the dance. I gave him my Port excuse.

After I hung up, I tried to concentrate on dinner - dicing up the chicken especially; I didn't want to take another trip to the hospital. But my head was spinning, trying to analyze every word Dazai had spoken today. What did he mean, it was better if we weren't friends?

My stomach twisted as I realised what he meant. He must have seen how absorbed I was by him; he must not want to lead me on...so we couldn't even be friends...because he wasn't interested in me at all. 

Of course he wasn't interested in me, I thought angrily, my eyes stinging - a delayed reaction to the onions, of course. I wasn't _interesting._ He was. Interesting...and brilliant..and mysterious..and perfect..and beautiful..and possibly able to lift full sized vans with one hand. 

Well, that was fine. I could leave him alone. I _would_ leave him alone. I I would get through my self-imposed sentence here in purgatory, and then hopefully some school in the southwest, maybe Hawaii, would offer me a scholarship. I focused my thoughts on sunny beaches and palm trees as finished the enchiladas and put them in the oven.

Yosano seemed suspicious when he came home and smelled the green peppers. I couldn't blame her. But she was a cop, so she was brave enough to take the first bite. She seemed to like it. It was fun to watch as he slowly began trusting me in the kitchen.

"Mom?" I asked when she was almost done.

"Yeah, Chuuya?"

"Um, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Port for the day a week from Saturday.. if that's okay?" I didn't want to ask permission - it set a bad precedent - but I felt rude, so tacked it on at the end.

"Why?" She seemed surprised, as if she were unable to imagine something that Yokohama couldn't offer.

"Well, I wanted to get a few books - the library here is pretty limited - and maybe look at some clothes." I had more money than I was used to having, since, thanks to Yosano, I didn't have to buy a car. Not that the truck didn't cost quite a bit in the gas department. 

"That truck probably doesn't get very good gas mileage." She said, echoing my thoughts. 

"I know, I'll stop in some at stations along the way if I have too."

"Are you going all by yourself?" She asked and I couldn't tell if she was suspicious I was secretly dating someone or just worried about car trouble.

"Yes."

"Port is a big city. You could get lost." She fretted.

"Mom, Shanghai is like five times the size of Port - and I can read a map you know. Don't worry about it." 

"Do you want me to come with you?"

I tried to be crafty and hide my horror. 

"That's alright, Mom, I'll probably just be in dressing rooms all day- pretty boring."

"Oh, okay." Even though she loved shopping, the thought of sitting in a dressing room all day for men put her off.

"Thanks." I smiled at her.

"Will you be back for the dance?"

Only in a town this small would parents know when the high school dances are.

"No, I don't dance Yosano."

"Oh, that's right." 

◇◇◇

The next morning at school, when I pulled into the lot, I made sure to park as far as possible from the convertible. I didn't want to put myself in the path of too much temptation and end up owing him a new car. Getting out of the truck, I fumbled with my key and it fell at my feet into a puddle. As I bent down, a white hand flashed out and grabbed it before I could. I jerked upright. Dazai Osamu was right next to me, leaning casually against my truck. 

"How do you do that?" I asked in amazed irritation.

"Do what?" He handed me my key as we spoke. 

"Appear out of thin air."

"Chibi, it's not my fault you are exceptionally unobservant." His voice as as quiet as usual. 

I growled out a 'do not call me that' and scowled at his perfect face. His eyes were light again, a deep, golden honey color. Then I had to look down, to reassemble my now-tangled thoughts.

"Why the traffic jam yesterday?" I demanded, still looking away.  
"I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death. 

"That was for Tanizaki's sake, not mine. I had to give him a chance." He snickered.

"You.." I couldn't think of a bad enough word. It felt like the heat of my anger should physically burn him, but he only seemed more amused.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist." He continued.

"So you _are_ trying to irritate me to death? Because Tanizaki's van didn't do the job."

Anger flashed through his golden eyes. His lips pressed together into a hard line, all signs of humor gone.

"Chuuya, you are absolutely absurd." He said, his low voice cold. 

My hands twitched. I wanted so badly to hit something. I surprised myself with that thought. I am not a violent person. I turned my back and started to walk away.

"Wait." He called. I kept walking, stomping angrily through the rain. But he caught up with me, easily matching my pace.

"I'm sorry, that was rude." He said as we walked. I ignored him.  
"I'm not saying it's not true, but it's rude."

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" I grumbled.

"I wanted to ask you something but you sidetracked me." He chuckled. He seemed to have recovered his humor.

"Do you have a multiple personality disorder?" I asked honestly.

"You're doing it again."

I sighed.  
"Fine. What do you want to ask."

"I was wondering if, in a week from Saturday, you know, the day of the spring dance -"

"Are you trying to _funny?"_ I interrupted, wheeling toward him. My face got drenched as I looked up at his expression.

His eyes said he was wickedly amused.

"Will you please let me finish?"  
I bit my lip and clasped my hands together, interlocking my fingers, so I couldn't do anything rash.

"I heard you say you were going to Port that day and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

That was unexpected.

"What?" I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

"Do you want a ride to Port?"

"With who?" i asked mystified.

"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if he was talking to a baby.

I was still stunned.  
"Why?"

"Well, I was planning to go to Port in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it."

"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern." I started to walk again but I was too surprised to maintain the same level of anger.

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?" He matched my pace.

"I don't see how that is any of your business." Stupid, shiny convertible owner.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

"Honestly, Dazai." I felt a chill go through me from saying his name and I absolutely hate it.   
"I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends not that I didn't want to be."

"Oh, thanks, now that's _all_ cleared up." Heavy sarcasm. I realized I had stopped walking again. We were under the shelter of the cafeteria right not, so I could more easily look at his face. Which certainly didn't help clear my thoughts.

"It would be more.... _safe_ for you to not be my friend." He explained.   
"But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Chuuya."

His eyes were so intense as he said that sentence, his voice smoldering. I couldn't remember how to breath.

"Will you go with me to Port?" He asked, still intense. 

I couldn't speak yet so I just nodded.

He smiled briefly, and then his face became serious.

"You really _should_ stay away from me." He warned.   
"I'll see you in class."

He turned away abruptly and walked back the way we'd come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um so I ran out of ideas for names so I used Port : )  
> Im dumb  
> And I don't edit much. Im saying that bcuz this chap was particularly bad at grammar!  
> Next Chapter, Blood Type.   
> I'll post it as soon as I can! But it will be at least a week 😅


	6. Blood Type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My head snapped up. I followed Ango's gaze to see Dazai, smiling crookedly, staring at me from an empty table across the cafeteria. Once he'd caught my arm, he raised a bandaged arm and motioned with his index finger for me to join him. As I stared in disbelief, he winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha  
> Lets pretend I'm not two weeks late 😅  
> More interactions!!  
> I changed so much in this chapter lmao anyways, thanks for reading :)
> 
> WARNING: There is blood in this chapter, but it's literally a prick on the finger and there is queasiness.

I made my way to English in a daze. I didn't even realize that I walked in after the class started.

"Thank you for joining us, Mr.Nakahara." Mr.Pushkin said.

I flushed and hurried to my seat.

It wasn't until the class had ended that I realized Odasaku wasn't sitting next to me. I felt a twinge of guilt. But he and Kenji were both waiting for me by the door as usual, so I figured I wasn't completely unforgiven. Odasaku even seemed to become more like himself as we walked, gaining enthusiasm as he talked about the weather report for this weekend. The rain was supposed to have a minor break so maybe he could do his beach trip. I tried to sound as eager, to make up for disappointing him yesterday. It was hard; rain or no rain, it would still be in the forties, if we were lucky. 

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. It was difficult to believe that I hadn't just imagined what Dazai said and the way his eyes had looked. Maybe it was just a very convincing dream that I'd confused with reality. That seemed more probable than that I appealed to him on any level.

So I was impatient and frightened as Ango and I walked to the cafeteria. I wanted to see his face, to see if he'd gone back to the cold indifferent Dazai I'd known for the last several weeks. Or if, by some miracle, I'd really heard what i thought i had this morning. Ango talked about his dance plans, completely unaware of me not paying attention.

Disappointment flooded through me as my eyes focused on his table. The other four were there, but he was absent. Had he gone home? I followed the still talking Ango through the line, crushed. I'd lost my appetite - I bought nothing but a bottle of water. I just wanted to sit down and sulk.

"Dazai Osamu is staring at you again." Ango said, finally breaking through my abstraction with his name.  
"I wonder why he's sitting by himself today."

My head snapped up. I followed Ango's gaze to see Dazai, smiling crookedly, staring at me from an empty table across the cafeteria. Once he'd caught my arm, he raised a bandaged arm and motioned with his index finger for me to join him. As I stared in disbelief, he winked.

"Does he mean _you_?" Ango asked with amazement in his tone. 

"Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework. I'd better go see what he wants.."

I could feel him staring at me the entire way. 

When I reached his table, I stood behind the chair across from him unsure.

"Why don't you sit with me today?" He asked, smiling. 

I sat down automatically, watching him with caution. He was still smiling. It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real. I was afraid that he might disappear in a sudden puff of smoke and I would wake up. 

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

"This is...different.." I managed.

"Well..." He paused and then the rest of his words came out in a rush.  
"I decided if I'm going to hell, might as well do it thoroughly."

I waited for that to make since. The seconds ticked by. 

"You know I don't know what you mean?" I pointed out.

"I know." He smiled again and then he changed the subject.  
"I think your friends are angry at me for stealing you away."

"They'll survive." I could feel their stares boring into my back. 

"I may not give you back though." He said with a wicked glint in his eyes.

I tried to suppress my shiver. Key word is _tried._

He laughed.  
"You look worried."

"No." I said, but my voice decided then to demonstrate the noises of a teenage boy in puberty.  
"Surprised...actually.. What brought this on?"

"I told you - I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." He was still smiling but his eyes were serious. 

"Giving up?" I repeated in confusion.

"Yes, giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now and let the chips fall into place." His smile faded and an edge crept into his tone. 

"You lost me again."

That breathtaking smile returned. 

"I always say too much when I'm talking to you - that's another problem."

"Don't worry. I rarely understand all of it." I deadpanned.

"I'm counting on that."

"Okay, so in plain Japanese, are we friends now?"

"Friends..." He mused, dubious.

"Or not." I muttered.

He grinned.   
"Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you right now, that I'm not a good friend for you." Behind his smile, the warning is real.

"You say that a lot." I noted, trying to ignore the sudden trembling in my stomach and keep my voice even.

"Yes, because you're not listening to me. I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."

"What if I'm not smart?" I asked.

"Then I guess...We'll try being friends."

I looked down at my hands wrapped around my water bottle, wondering what to do.

"What are you thinking?" He asked curiously.

I looked up into his deep gold eyes, became confused and as usual, blurted out the truth.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are."

His jaw tightened, but he kept his smile in place with some effort.

"Are you having any luck with that, Chibi?"

"Not really. And don't call me that."

He chuckled.  
"What are your theories?"

I blushed. I had been thinking during the last month between Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker. There was no way I was going to tell him that.

"Won't you tell me?" He asked, tilting his head to one side with a shockingly tempting smile. 

I shook my head.  
"It's too embarrassing."

"That's _really_ frustrating, you know." He complained. 

"No." I disagreed quickly, my eyes narrowing.   
"I can't imagine why that would be frustrating at all. Just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean..now why would that be frustrating?"

The little shit just grinned.  
"You stay up thinking about me? I'm flattered."

_If only you knew.._

"Or better," I continued, choosing to ignore his dorky grin and the way my traitorous heart fluttered at it.  
"Say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things - from saving your life under impossible circumstances on day to treating you like dirt under his shoe and he never explained any of that, either, even after he promised. That, also, would be _very_ non-frustrating."

"You have a big of a temper, you know?"

"I don't like double standards."

We stared at each other, him smiling and me glaring. 

He glanced over my shoulder and then, unexpectedly, laughed.

"What?"

"You're boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you. He's debating whether or not to come break up our fight." He snickered again.

"I don't know what your talking about." I said frostily.  
"But I'm sure your wrong."

"I'm not. I told you, most people are easy to read."

"Except me, of course."

"Yes. Except you." His mood shifted suddenly, his eyes brooding.   
"I wonder why that is.."

I had to look away from the intensity of his stare. I concentrated on unscrewing the lid to my water. I took a drink, staring at the table without seeing.

"Aren't you hungry?" He asked, distracted.

"No." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was churning already from embarrassment.   
"You?" I looked at the empty table in front of him.

"No, I'm not hungry." I didn't understand his expression. It looked like he was enjoying some private joke. 

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked after a second of hesitation.

He was suddenly wary.  
"That depends on what you want."

"It's not much." I assured him.

He waited, guarded but curious. 

"I just wondered...if you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared." I looked at the bottle of water as I spoke, tracing the circle of the cap with my pinkie.

"That sounds fair." He was pressing his lips together to keep from laughing when I looked up."

"Thanks."

"Then can I have one answer in return?" He asked.

"One."

"Then tell me _one_ theory."

Shit.  
"Not that one."

"You promised one answer." He reminded me.

"And you've broken promises yourself." I reminded him.

"Just one theory, I won't laugh."

"Yes, you will." I was positive about that.

He looked down and then glanced back up at me through thick, long black lashes, his gold eyes scorching.

"Please?" He breathed, leaning towards me.

I blinked, my mind going completely blank. Holy- How did he do that?

"Er, what?" I asked, dazed. 

"Please tell me one little theory." His eyes smothered me.

"Um well, bitten by a radioactive spider." Was he a hypnotist too? Or was I just a hopeless pushover.

"That's not very creative." He scoffed.

"I'm sorry, that's all I've got." I said.

"You're not even close."

"No spiders?"

"Nope."

"No radioactivity?"

"None."

"Damn." I sighed.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either." He chuckled.

"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?"

He struggled to compose his face.

"I'll figure it out eventually."

"I wish you wouldn't try." He said seriously.

"Because..?"

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" He smiled playfully but his eyes were impenetrable. 

"Oh," I said, as several things he'd hinted at fell into place.  
"I see."

"Do you?" His face was abruptly severe, as if he were afraid that he'd accidently said to much.

"You're dangerous?" I guessed, my pulse quickening as I realized the truth of my own words. He _was_ dangerous. He'd been trying to tell me all along.

He just looked at me with some emotion in his eyes that I couldn't comprehend. 

"But not bad." I whispered, shaking my head.  
"No, I don't believe that you are bad."

"You're wrong." His voice was almost inaudible. He looked down, stealing my bottle lid and then spinning it on its side between his fingers. I stared at him, wondering why I didn't feel afraid. I felt anxious, on edge...but more than anything else, fascinated. The same way I've always felt towards him. 

The silence lasted until I noticed that the cafeteria was almost empty.

I jumped to my feet.  
"We're going to be late."

"I'm not going to class today." He said, twirling the lid so fast it was a blur.

"Why not?"

"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." He smiled at me, but his eyes spelled trouble.

"Well, I'm going." I told him. I was far too big a coward to risk getting caught.

He turned his attention back to his makeshift top.  
"I'll see you later then."

I hesitated, torn, but then the first bell sent me hurrying out the door.

As I half-ran to class, my head was spinning faster than that bottle cap. So few of my questions had been answered compared how many had been raised. At least the rain had stopped.

I was lucky; Mr.Francis wasn't in the room when I arrived. I settled in quickly, aware that both Odasaku and Kyoka were staring at me. Odasaku looked angry; Kyoka looked surprised and slightly awed.

Mr.Francis came into the room then, calling the class to order. He was holding a few small cardboard boxes in his arms. He put them down on Odasaku's table and told him to pass them out. 

"Okay guys I want you all to take one piece from each box." He said as he pulled out a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of his lab coat and put them on. The sharp sound of gloves snapping into place against his wrist sounded ominous to me.   
"The first should be an indicator card." He went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it and displaying it.   
"The second card is a four pronged applicator -" he held up something that looked like a toothpick.  
"The third is a sterile micro-lacet." He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from my seat but my stomach still did a flip flop.

"I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cars, so please don't start until I get to you." He began at Odasaku's table, carefully putting one drop of water on each of the four squares.   
"Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet.." He grabbed Oda's hand and jibbed the spike into the tip of his middle finger. Oh no. Clammy moisture broke out across my forehead.

"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs." He demonstrated, squeezing Oda's finger till the blood flowed. I swallowed, my stomach heaving. 

"And then apply it to the card." He finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see. I closed my eyes, trying not to hear through the ringing in my ears. 

"The red cross is having a blood drive in Tokyo next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type." He sounded proud of himself. I don't know why.  
"Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission -I have slips on my desk."

He continued through the room with his water drops. I put my cheek against the cold desktop and tried to stay conscious. All around me I could hear squeals, complaints and giggles as my classmates skewered their fingers. I breathed slowly in and out through my mouth.

"Chuuya, are you alright?" Mr.Francis asked. His voice was close to my head and sounded alarmed.

"I already know my blood type." I said in a weak voice. I was afriad to look up.

"Are you feeling faint?"

"Yes sir." I muttered, internally kicking myself for not ditching when I had the chance. 

"Can someone take Chuuya to the nurse please?" He called. 

I didn't have to look up to know that it would be Odasaku who volunteered. 

"Can you walk?" Mr.Francis asked.

"Yes." I whispered. Just get me out of here. I'll crawl if I have to.

Odasaku put his arm around my waist and pulled my arm over his shoulder. I leaned against him heavily on the way out of the classroom. 

Odasaku walked me slowly across campus. When we were around the edge of the building and out of Mr.Francis sight, I stopped.

"Just let me sit for a moment?" I begged.

He helped me sit.

"And whatever you do, keep your hand in your pocket." I warned. I was still so dizzy. I slumped over on my side, putting my cheek against the freezing cement floor and closing my eyes. That seemed to help a little. 

"Wow, you're green." Odasaku sounded nervous. 

"Chuuya?" A different voice called from the distance.

No! Please let me be imagining that horribly familiar voice. 

"What's wrong? Is he hurt?" His voice was closer now and he sounded upset. I wasn't imagining it. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to die. Or, at the very least, not throw up.

Odasaku seemed stressed.   
"I think he fainted. I don't know what happened. He didn't even prick his finger."

"Chuuya." Dazai's voice was right beside me, relieved now.  
"Can you hear me?"

"No." I groaned.  
"Go away."

He chuckled. 

"I was taking him to the nurse," Odasaku said in a defensive tone,  
"But he wouldn't go any further.

"I'll take him." Dazai said. I could hear the smile in his voice.  
"You can go back to school."

"No." Odasaku protested.  
"I'm supposed to do it."

Suddenly the ground disappeared from beneath me. My eyes flew open in shock. Dazai had scooped me up into his arms as if I weighed ten pounds instead of 120 pounds. 

"Put me down!" Please, please let me not vomit on him. He was walking before I even finished talking.

"Hey!" Odasaku called, already ten paces behind us even with his long legs. 

Dazai ignored him.  
"You look awful." he told me, grinning. 

"Put me back on the sidewalk." I moaned. The rocking movement of his walk was not helping. He held me away from his body, gingerly, supporting all my weight with just his arms - it didn't seem to bother him. 

"So you faint from the sight of blood?" He asked. This seemed to entertain him. 

I didn't answer. I closed my eyes and fought nausea with all my strength, clamping my lips together. 

"And not even your blood," He continued, enjoying himself.

I don't know how he opened the door while carrying me, but suddenly it was warm and we were inside. 

"Oh my," I heard a female voice gasp.

"He fainted in Biology." Dazai explained. 

I opened my eyes. I was in the office and Dazai was strolling past the front counter to the nurses door. Ms.Lucy, the front office receptionist, ran ahead of him to hold the door open. The nurse inside the room looked up from a novel, stony faced as Dazai swung me into the room and placed me gently on the blue sheets covering one of two beds. He moved to stand against the wall as far across the narrow room as possible. His eyes were bright, excited.

"He's just a little faint." He told the blond nurse.  
"They're blood typing in Biology."

The nurse nodded and pushed up his glasses.  
"There's always one."

Dazai muffled a snicker.

"Just lie down for a minute. It'll pass." The nurse said.

"I know..." I sighed. The nausea was already fading. 

"Does this happen a lot?" The nurse, Kunikida, asked.

"Sometimes.." I admitted. Dazai coughed to hide another laugh. 

"You can go back to class now." Kunikida told him.

"I'm supposed to stay with him." Dazai said with such assured authority that - even though he pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes - the nurse didn't argue further.

"I'll go get some ice for your forehead." he said to me and stalked out of the room. 

"You were right." I moaned, letting my eyes close.

"I usually am - but about what in particular this time?" 

I ignored the idea to argue with that.

"Ditching is healthy." I said instead.

"You scared me for a minute there." He admitted after a pause. His tone made it sound like he was confessing a humiliating weakness.   
"I thought Sakunosuke was dragging your dead body to bury in the woods."

"Ha." I still had my eyes closed, but I was feeling more normal every minute.

"Honestly - I've seen corpses with better color. I was concerned I had to avenge your murder."

"Poor Odasaku. I'll bet he's mad."

"He absolutely loathes me." Dazai said cheerfully. 

"You can't know that." I said but I'm fairly certain he did. 

"I saw his face Chuuya."

"How did you see? I thought you were ditching." I was almost fine now, though the queasiness would have passed faster if I had eaten something at lunch. On the other hand, maybe it's lucky my stomach was empty.

"I was in my car, listening to the radio." Such a normal response. Why did it surprise me?

I heard the door open and I opened my eyes to see Kunikida walking back in with an ice pack in his hand. 

"Here you go." He laid it across my forehead. 

"I think I'm fine." I said, sitting up. Just a little ringing in my ears, no spinning. The mint green walls stayed where they should.

I could see he was about to make me lie down again but Ms.Lucy stuck her head in.

"We've got another one." She warned. 

I got of the bed so it was free.

I handed the ice back to Kunikida.

"I don't need this."

And then Odasaku came in, carrying a pale looking Teruko Okura and another boy from class. Dazai and I pressed against the wall to give them space. 

"Oh no." Dazai muttered.  
"Get out of the office Chuuya."

I looked at him bewildered.

"Trust me. Go."

I spun and caught the door before it closed, darting out of the infirmary. I could feel Dazai behind me.

"You actually listened to me." He said, shocked.

"I smelled the blood." I said, wrinkling my nose. Teruko wasn't sick from watching, like me.

"Humans can't smell blood." He contradicted.

"Well, I can. It's what makes me sick. The smell of rust...and salt."

He was staring at me with an unfathomable expression.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Odasaku came through the door then, glancing at me than to Dazai. The look he gave Dazai confirmed what Dazai had said about loathing. He looked back at me, his eyes glum.

" _You_ look better." He accused.

"Just keep your hand in your pocket." I warned him.

"It's not bleeding anymore." He muttered.  
"Are you going back to class?"

"Are you kidding? I'd just have to turn around and come back." 

"Yeah I guess... So are you going this weekend? To the beach?" While he spoke, he flashed another glare toward Dazai, who was standing against the cluttered counter, motionless as a statue, staring off into space. 

I tried to sound as friendly as possible.  
"Sure, I said I was in."

"We're meeting at my dad's store, at ten." His eyes flickered to Dazai again, wondering if he was giving out too much information. His body language made it clear that this was not an open invitation.

"I'll be there." I promised.

"See you in Gym then." He said, moving towards the door. 

"See you." I replied. He looked at me once more, his face slightly pouting, and then as he walked slowly through the door, his shoulders slumped. A swell of sympathy washed over me. I pondered seeing his disappointed face again...in gym.

"Gym." I groaned.

"I can take care of that." I hadn't noticed Dazai moving to my side, but he spoke in my ear now.  
"Go sit down and look pale."

That wasn't a challenge. I was always pale and my recent swoon had left a light sheen of swat on my face. I sat in one of the creaky folding chairs and rested my head against the wall with my eyes closed. Fainting spells always exhausted me. 

I heard Dazai speaking softly at the counter. 

"Ms.Lucy?"

"Ues?" I hadn't heard her return to her desk.

"Chuuya has Gym next hour and I don't think he feels well enough. Actually, I was thinking I should take him home now. Do you think you could excuse him from class?"

His voice was like melting honey. I could imagine how much more overwhelming his eyes would be. 

"Do you need to be excused too, Dazai?" Ms.Lucy fluttered.

"No, I have Mr.Herbert, he won't mind."

"Okay, it's all taken care of. You feel better Chuuya." She called to me. I nodded weakly, hamming it up just a tiny bit.

"Can you walk or do you need me to carry you again?" With his back turned, his smile quickly morphed to amusement. 

"I'll walk."

I stood carefully and I was fine. He held the door open for me smile kind but mocking. I walked out into the cold, fine mist that had just begun to fall. It felt nice - the first time I'd enjoyed the constant moisture falling out of a sky - as it washed my face clean of the sticky perspiration. 

"Thanks." I said as he followed me out.  
"It's almost worth getting sick to skip gym."

"Anytime." He was staring straight forward, squinting into the rain. 

"So are you going? This Saturday?" I was hoping he would say yes, though it seemed unlikely. I couldn't picture him loading up to carpool with the rest of the kids from school. He didn't belong to the same world. But just hoping that he might gave me the first twinge of enthusiasm I'd felt for the outing.

"Where are you all going, exactly?" He was still looking ahead, expressionless.

"Down to Hunting Dogs, the beach." I studied his face, trying to read it. His eyes seemed to narrow.

He glanced down at me from the corner of his eye, smiling wryly.  
"I don't think I was invited."

"I just invited you." 

"Let's you and I not push poor Oda any further this week. We don't want him to snap." His eyes danced. He was enjoying the idea more than he should.

We were nearing the parking lot now. I veered left, toward my truck. Something caught my jacket, yanking me back.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked, outraged. He was gripping a fistful of my jacket in one hand.

I was confused.  
"I'm going home?"

"Didn't you hear my promise to take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?"

"What condition? And what about my truck?" I complained.

"I'll have Ranpo drop it off after school." He was towing me towards his car now, pulling my jacket. It was all I could do to keep from falling backwards. He'd probably just drag me along if I did.

"Let go!" I insisted. He ignored me. 

I staggered along sideways across the wet sidewalk until we reached the convertible. Then he finally freed me.

"You're so _pushy."_ I grumbled.

"It's open." Was all he responded. He got into the drivers side.

"I'm perfectly capable of driving myself home!" I stood by the car, fuming. It was raining harder now and I'd never put my hood up, so my hair was dripping down my back. Maybe I should cut it after all.

He lowered the automatic window and leaned towards me from across the seat.  
"Get in, Chuuya."

I didn't answer. I was mentally calculating my chances of reaching the truck before he could catch me. I had to admit, they weren't good.

"I'll just drag you back." He threatened, guessing my plan.

I tried to maintain what dignity I could as I got into the car. I wasn't very successful. I looked like a half drowned cat and my boots squeak.

"This is completely unnecessary." I said stiffly.

He didn't answer. He fiddled with the controls, turning the heater up and the music down. As he pulled out of the parking lot, I was preparing on giving him the silent treatment - my face in a full pout - but then I recognized the music playing and my curiosity got the better of me.

"Lincoln Park?" I asked, surprised.

"You know rock?" He sounded surprised too.

"Not well." I admitted.  
"Kouyou plays a lot of rock music around the house - I only know my favorites." 

"They're one of my favorites too." He stared out through the rain, lost in thought. 

I listened to the music, relaxing against the leather seat. It was impossible not to respond to the familiar, soothing melody. The rain blurred everything outside the window into gray and green smudges. I began to realize we were driving very fast; the car moved so steadily, so evenly though, I didn't feel the speed. Only the town flashing by gave it away. 

"What is Kouyou like?" He asked me suddenly.

I glanced over to see him staring at me with curious eyes. 

"She has pinkish hair and she kind of looks like me, but she's prettier." I said. He raised his eyebrows.  
"She's more mature yet outgoing than I am and braver. She's an unpredictable cook and she loves tea." I stopped. Talking about her made me sad.

"How old are you Chuuya?" His voice sounded frustrated for some reason I couldn't imagine. He stopped the car and I realized we were already at Yosano's house. The rain was so heavy I could barely see the house at all. It was like the car was submerged under a river.

"I'm seventeen." I responded, a little confused.

"You don't seem seventeen."

His tone was reproachful. It made me laugh.

"What?" He asked, curious again.

"Kouyou always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged each year." I laughed and then sighed.  
"Well, someone has to be an adult." I paused.  
"You don't seem like a junior yourself." I noted.

He made a face and changed the subject.

"So why did your mother marry Mizuki?"

I was surprised he remembered her name. I'd mentioned it once, almost two months ago. It took me a moment to answer.

"Kouyou...is very mature. I think Mizuki makes her feel more free, younger. At any rate, they're crazy about each other." 

"Do you approve?" He asked.

"Does it matter?" I countered.  
"I want her to be happy. And Mizuki is who she wants."

"That's very generous...I wonder.." He mused.

"What?"

"Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?" He was suddenly intense, his eyes searching mine.

"I-I think so." I stuttered.  
"But she's the parent, after all. It's a little different."

"No one to scary then." He teased.

I grinned in response.  
"What do you mean by scary? Multiple facial piercings and tattoos?" 

"That's one definition, I suppose."

"What's your definition?"

He ignored my question.

"Do you think _I_ could be scary?" He raised one eyebrow and the faint trace of a smile lingered on his face.

I thought for a moment, wondering whether the truth or a lie would be better. I decided to go with the truth. 

"Hmmmm...I think you _could_ be, if you wanted to."

"Are you frightened of me now?" The smile vanished and his angel face became serious.

"No." I answered too quickly. The smile returned.

"So, now are you going to tell me about your family?" I asked to distract him.  
"It's got to be more interesting a story than mine."

He was instantly cautious.  
"What do you want to know?"

"The ougai's adopted you?" I verified.

"Yes."

I hesitated.  
"What happened to your parents?"

"They died many years ago." He said in a matter of fact tone.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"I don't remember them that clearly. Fukuzawa and Mori have been my parents for a long time now."

"And you love them." It wasn't a question. It was obvious in the way he spoke of them. 

"Yes." He smiled.  
"I couldn't imagine two better people."

"You're very lucky."

"I know I am."

"And your brothers?"

He glanced at the clock on the dashboard.

"My brothers, Akutagawa and Poe, for the matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me."

"Oh, sorry, I guess you have to go." I didn't want to get out of the car.

"And you probably want your car back before Yosano returns, so you don't have to tell her about the Biology incident." He grinned at me.

"I'm sure she's already heard. There are no secrets in Yokohama." I sighed

He laughed and there was an edge to his laughter.

"Have fun at the beach.. good weather for sunbathing." He glanced out into the sheeting rain.

"Won't I see you tomorrow?"

"No. Atsushi and I are starting the weekend early."

"What are you doing?" A friend could ask that, right? I hoped the disappointment wasn't too visible in my voice.

"We're going hiking in the woods."

I remembered Yosano saying the Ougai's went camping frequently.

"Oh, well have fun." I tried to sound enthusiastic. I didn't sound convincing though. A smile was playing on the edge of his lips.

"Will you do something for me this weekend, chibi?" He turned to look me straight in the face, utilizing the full power of his burning gold eyes.

I nodded helplessly. 

"Don't be offended but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So..try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?" He smiled crookedly.

The helplessness faded as he spoke. I glared at him.

"I'll see what I can do." I snapped, jumping out into the rain. If I slammed the door behind me with a little bit of excessive force, nobody needs to know.

He was still smiling as he drove away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it longer as an apology for being so late   
> Author is sorry   
> Next chapter: Chapter 6, scary stories.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment what you think!


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